The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 8

Today is Monday, April 27th and this is my eighth blog post since I began living in self-isolation with my chihuahua companions, Sam and Lila.   

Just this morning I listened to the CBC news for a just a little while, and I'm not surprised to learn that domestic violence is on the rise amid Covid-19.  

Perhaps this is one issue, like elder neglect in long term nursing homes, that will gain more attention, and with some little bit of luck, perhaps more of those who suffer such violence will discover new confidence, and stop hiding the sordid secret behind the front door.  Perhaps more women will feel able to reach out for help now that more attention is being given to this very sad issue.   

During these days of isolation I'm not meeting with my counseling clients, however, if anyone reading this blog post is experiencing events in the home that are causing fear or lack of safety, in any way, I'm only an email or a FB message away.   To my knowledge shelters are open.  I confess I have not taken the time to be certain of this but there is a website called  https://sheltersafe.ca  which is there for you.   

If you are a woman experiencing abuse, there is someone you can reach out to any time of day or night.    As it says on their website, "Help is just a click away."

I hope and pray you are not in an unsafe situation, however, if during these days of self-isolation you are feeling in need of a friend or just want the opportunity to vent, I'm here.  It's many years ago that I made the decision to receive the necessary education and training to become a psychospiritual practitioner.   Since that time I've been blessed to work with women in private counseling sessions and, as well, it has been my pleasure to offer Getting High on Life Workshops for Women.  

Hopefully, the world will soon be behaving itself again, and I've booked the meeting room for the afternoon of Monday, September 21st, in our Elliot Lake Public Library for our next workshop which will focus on Emotional Healing and Being Authentic.  

To my knowledge, today there are 2,994,690 confirmed cases of Covid-19 around our small world.  In Canada there are 46,895 and in Ontario 14,432.   As far as I am aware, today the number of confirmed cases in my small town of Elliot Lake remains at three.

I have found it essential for my own mental and emotional health to cut back on the time I listen to the news.   I don't intend to be like the proverbial ostrich with my head stuck in the sand, however, keeping up with the news is, for me, a place to visit.  It's not where I want to live.  In spite of it all, life is good.  There is much to celebrate and enjoy.  There is always something to be grateful for.

Personally, I do my best to keep some sort of structure in my daily life in isolation.  I make my bed each morning, get dressed, comb my  hair and apply a little lipstick.   I take care of the needs of my little handfuls, ensuring they are fed and happy.   My daily ventures into the yard for the necessary poop patrol happen regardless of the weather.

On my to-do list I have my teacher-less piano lessons, but do have fun reviewing some songs that the talented and patient teacher, Ann Foy, taught me several years ago.   I try not to forget my 30 minute daily aerobic work-out while I listen to the tape recording of Lesley Sanson as she tells me to walk, kick, knee lift, and side step.  

Each morning I read the prayer shared by Reverent Richard Bott, Moderator of the United Church of Canada.  And now that the weather is warming up and that beautiful sun is shining, I'm enjoying my backyard.  The deck furniture is in place out there now and I am grateful that I have my yard.  The furthest I have traveled in weeks is to the end of my driveway to put out the garbage on a Tuesday morning.    

Since my friend and talented singer, Sandra Kelterborn, introduced me to Singsnap, an online karaoke site, I've been hooked.   I don't pretend to be a singer, but I have always loved to sing.  As a child growing up in the Salvation Army Church, I always participated in the children's choir which was simply called The Singing Company.   In high school I remember taking an elective course one semester in vocal music.   Everyone and anyone can sing.   At least, that's what I believe.  It's just that some can do it better than others.   

I sing bass - way down in the basement.  Being a bass in a soprano world, especially without the ability to read music to enable harmonizing, means I don't sing publicly.   However, here alone in my home, singing away on my laptop is such good fun.   And I have discovered that, by singing, life is just naturally more joyous.  The very act of singing lifts my spirit and adds pleasure to life in isolation.  I seriously encourage you to check it out if you like to sing.  You don't need to be a great singer - you just need to have fun and enjoy it.  The link to the karaoke site is https://singsnap.com   It's free and it's fun!   If you join, I hope you will message me your user name so that we can have fun sharing the experience together.

This Monday is a beautiful, mild, and sunshiny day in Elliot Lake.   I hope you are discovering your own ways to make your days light and pleasurable even though you may be alone.   Even being alone can be pleasurable.   Get busy with google search and you will discover some wonderful guided meditations online.    And what better company can any of us have than a good book.

And, speaking of books, you know I've written quite a few of them by now.  I started writing creatively when I retired from the working world and I've never looked back.  Creative writing is my passion.  Thank you for checking out Amazon where my books are exclusively available.  My author's site is found at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

I believe that, this afternoon, Ontario's plan for the first steps in re-opening the economy will be announced.   As I understand it, the peak has either been reached or will soon be reached and, hopefully, we will soon begin to see the light and to see a gradual process of re-opening; something we can all anticipate.

In the meantime, 'be your own light'.   And, if I allow myself to remember my long ago Sunday School days, I invite you to 'Brighten the corner where you are'.

Thanks for listening.   I love you all.


Audrey.  

The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 7

Today is Wednesday, April 22nd, and this is my seventh blog posting since I began to live in self-isolation a few weeks ago.    

It snowed yesterday and that was a bit disheartening but today the glorious sun is up there doing his job from the beautiful clear, blue sky; shining warmth along with the hope that, just as the snow will soon melt and disappear once more, so will this covid-19 virus be just another memory.

I'm told that today there are 11,735 confirmed cases of Covid-19 in Ontario; 37,422 in Canada; and globally 2,582,529.   As I understand it, today, the number of confirmed cases in my small town of Elliot Lake remains at three.

Those of you who know me well, know that I'm an emotional woman.  I feel things deeply.  Today I am feeling sorrow for the people of Nova Scotia, for those families who have lost their relatives, their friends, and neighbours, because one man made a decision to go on a senseless  shooting spree.  To my knowledge, twenty-two souls have transitioned because of this horrific act of terror.  


My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Nova Scotia, the birthplace of my dear father who was born in Springhill, who worked there in the mines, before moving to Ontario long ago in the depression years.  His father, my grandfather, was the jailer in the Amherst Jail.  When I was five years old, I was honoured to spend time in a jail cell.  I'm grateful that this was not only my first, but also my only prison experience.  

Today I grieve with the people of Nova Scotia.  The fragility of life is something I appreciate more each day as I grow older. 

I don't know the details but I also understand that right here in Elliot Lake someone made the decision to shoot and kill another.   And I am hearing of house break-ins and thefts.

While the vast majority of good people in my town do all they can to make this difficult time of Covid-19 more bearable, more interesting, more acceptable, there are the few who do all they can to make life more challenging.

I remember many years ago when I was studying at the University of Toronto's Wordsworth College, I was given an assignment by one of my professors to write an essay.  One of the topics was to be People are basically good.  The second choice of  topic was People are basically evil.

I couldn't make up my mind which topic I wanted to write about but eventually I made my choice and I wrote on the first topic, People are basically good.  I was asked to support my thoughts and opinions with examples.   I had no problem doing so.  But when I was finished with writing my essay, I didn't feel satisfied.  Yes, I believed people are basically good, but something was niggling away at me.

There was no way I could not sit down and write a second essay.  You guessed it.  This time I wrote on the topic People are basically evil.  Again I had no problem supporting my opinion with strong examples.

It was time to submit my assignment. Which one would I submit?  I could not decide and for this reason I submitted both essays.   I wondered what the professor would think but I knew I could not do otherwise.    When my essays were returned to me, I was pleased to see that I had been given a good grade on both.

Obviously I know and accept that there are good and there are evil people in our world.  I am well aware that not one of us is perfect.  Yet, while amidst the heroic, caring, loving, and giving acts of kindness taking place around me, I am still shocked to hear about the evil that mankind can do; that one human being can do to another.  And I wonder when will we ever learn?  Will we ever learn?

It would seem that everything in my life at this time of self-isolation is, even to me, subjective.  Much of my activity is that of thought, of wondering, of simply being.

What am I actually doing?  Not a lot, I admit.

This morning the laundry is in the dryer.  I've made my bed, had my breakfast, taken care of the needs of Sam and Lila, my Chihuahua companions in isolation.   I could do some housework but the fact is that the house is very neat and tidy.  There has been nothing much happening in my home to make it otherwise.    I'm not a clean-freak for sure, but I am a neatness freak; a curse or a quality I've come by naturally as an inheritance from my dear mother.   I, personally, consider it a quality but I think my kids, during their growing-up years, probably considered it a curse.

Sam and Lila don't seem to care one way or the other and since, apart from them, I live alone I don't suppose it makes any difference to anyone whether my home is neat or not.  So I am discovering during these days of isolation much about myself.  I am recognizing that  the space, the comfort, the cleanliness, and the beauty of my home mean everything to me.   This little old house with its front porch and little backyard is my entire world apart from what I view through my windows.  I am staying home.   While so much is happening in our world; both positive and negative, I am simply staying home.  I am an observer.  Am I a participant in life?  Well, I guess that is debatable.  

As Shakespeare suggested we are all actors on a stage.  The childhood song, Row, Row, Row your boat, suggests that life is just a dream.  Roger Taylor wrote the lyrics for the song, It's An Illusion.   Perhaps it is.  But in these days of Covid-19 life seems very real to me.   

I've been so very appreciative of my talented friends who perform their songs and their music on Facebook.   My dear friend, Sandra, yesterday shared her song and, because I'm always open to learning, I wanted to explore the site, Singsnap, on which she recorded her singing.

Well, thanks to her, I've discovered a whole new world, a whole new way to enjoy life and to interact with others around our world who are singing their way through this Covid-19 crisis.  

I grew up in a musical family and I have always been a music appreciator.  I don't think of myself as a singer but I do remember another friend saying to me several years ago at a UCW gathering, "Everyone can sing."   

So when I began to explore the Singsnap site, I thought, okay, if everyone can sing, maybe that includes me.  And what if I can?  And what if I can't?  Is that really what matters?  To me with this new fun challenge, what matters is the joy, the feeling of participation in something when, in actual reality, I am, just like the movie, home alone.

I actually recorded a couple of songs and the singing feels good.   Just as painting, creative writing, even doing housework and caring for a home, are ways to express who I am, then this new adventure can be just one more way of experiencing personal growth at a time when it would be very easy for an individual to become stagnant.  

The gift of time this Covid crisis has given me, is a gift I don't want to waste.   I very much miss the human interaction with my family and friends.  At the same time I'm grateful for the technology that allows me to be in touch, to communicate, to care even when we are, of necessity, apart from one another.

I think of a line from the prayer Rev. Richard Bott shared.  "Help us to be socially connected when we have to be socially distant."     

The Right Reverend Richard Bott is the moderator of the United Church of Canada.  I was thankful to receive a copy of his prayer and I've taped it to the door of my refrigerator.  Each morning I read the prayer aloud.  I find it uplifting and hopeful.  

I find it quite amazing with these blog posts that, although I never have any idea what I will ramble on about, there is never any lack of things to type.     Each day is a new experience.  Although I am alone with my furbabies, I never feel alone.  I feel the warmth and the love of my family and friends.  I enjoy my piano, my oil paints, my TV; especially 90 Day Fiance; my favourite show and I'm totally hooked on it.  

I enjoy my home, the sunshine, the spa music that I listen to for most of each day.   I appreciate all the private messages, the emails, and the phone calls that come my way even though my phone is a an old flip phone, with horrible sound quality and terrible battery life.  I admit I'm grateful most of my friends and family are online and don't need to call me on my relic of a phone. 

Maybe you are also in self-isolation.  I hope that by talking about some of the activities I find fun to do, you will feel encouraged to explore new avenues, new experiences, and new thoughts.  In this strange world in which I find myself -- perhaps you will find your self too.   This time in my life is an opportunity to work toward my goal, which is to be authentic; to simply be.

Amazon Link to Simply BE

Thanks for listening to my rambling.  Boy, can this woman ramble!  lol

I love you all.

Audrey.  

Our Getting High On Life Workshop for Women

is scheduled to happen in the meeting room

of our local library

Monday, September 21st.

I hope to see you there.

At this time of self-isolation, counseling sessions are, of necessity, not taking place.

However, if you ever want to talk, 

don't hesitate to get in touch by email or by PM on Facebook.

Counseling sessions will resume when Covid-19 is finally just a memory.

The Hole In The Wall - a short story free this weekend in the Kindle Store

Lucille is worried. The mortgage is due and she doesn't have the money. What leads her into the basement? And is the hole in the wall really an answer to prayer?

https://www.amazon.ca/HOLE-WALL-Short-Stories-Social-ebook/dp/B00G0L8UUK/ref=sr_1_1?

The Hole In The Wall, a short story, is free in the Kindle Store this weekend, Saturday, April 25th & Sunday, April 26th for your reading enjoyment.

I love writing short stories and I hope you will enjoy reading them.  Visit my Amazon Author's Page at 
https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 6

Today is Saturday, April 18th, a beautiful sunny day though a little cool.  I find it interesting that the temperature is sort of a reflection of life as it is being experienced by our society throughout the isolation resulting from the Covid-19 Pandemic.   

I'm home-bound in self-isolation so I know little from personal experience, but I have read that some people in our town are reacting to the new way of life with aggressiveness which is a bi-product of fear.  I know many are fearful and I understand this.

This pandemic is something that has disrupted and changed the lives of everyone around our world.  No one is exempt.  No one can receive two hundred dollars and pass go.  This is not a game where we can say okay, enough, let's put the board away.  No, this is our new, strange, reality.  It's good to remember that we are all in this together and together we will get through this.

Thank you to those friends who have sent me private messages telling me how much they enjoy reading my blog posts.  You encourage me to continue on with my ramblings.

For a little while this morning, I watched CBC news on TV.  I try not to watch the news too often or for too long.  But this morning I listened to Dr. Peter Lim, a CBC News medical contributor, talk about how our shoes can be carrying the virus.   If this is the case I hope all my family and friends are taking off their shoes before entering their homes to help prevent the spread.  I've always been in the habit of taking my shoes off when at home.  I don't get a lot of joy out of housekeeping and I think my reasoning for removing my shoes at the door has been to keep down the amount of housework I need to do.  

Of course these days I rarely have shoes on my feet.  In my self-isolation I am quite content in my socks or my slippers.  If it were warmer, I would love to simply be barefoot.  I own many pairs of shoes but during this time of self-isolation I rarely put any on.   And this feels good.   I also can't recall the last time I put on my bra while dressing in the morning.  This feels even better.   I'm pretty sure many of my female friends will agree that this is another advantage created by the pandemic.  The only place I venture into is my own backyard and I keep a pair of old, black loafers next to my back door.  I was finally able to put the boots away and these are the shoes I wear outside.   Even my shoes aren't leaving the backyard in these days of Covid-19.   

Dr. Lim also said on the news this morning that we can expect the second wave of the virus in the fall.  I was hoping it would all be a memory by then but we can only take the steps on our journey one day at a time or, better still, one moment at a time.   To be in the moment is a challenge but, living in self-isolation, even this kind of a challenge is something to think about meeting.

I learned this morning that there are 2.5 million confirmed cases of the virus in the States.   Here in Canada we have 31,927 confirmed cases.  I understand that the number of confirmed cases in my small town remains at three.   This is one statistic I pray will not increase.  I do pray. I pray for our leaders and I pray for the end of this pandemic.

Today I've started a new on-line course with Udemy.  The course is titled "NLP Practitioner Certificate Course" and it is facilitated by an instructor with the name of Kain.    

This morning I received an email from him; one that I found very interesting.   I'd like to share just a little of his message with you now.  He writes, "While there are few things we can consistently count on in life, 'change' is one thing that we can - funnily enough, change is the only constant we have in this life - and it's also the one thing that many people find most difficulty with.  I was once told, that when we're no longer able to change the circumstances of our lives, we are challenged to change ourselves instead.  This is where many of us find ourselves right now. When we experience changes of the magnitude we see today, they often look harmful at first glance, but usually, over time, we soon realize that space has been created in our lives for something new and exciting to emerge.  As with all storms in life, this one too shall pass."

Kain's email reminded me of the new serenity prayer as it was shared with me some time ago by my dear friend, Lesley Blake.  This prayer goes like this.  "God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; courage to change the one I can; and the wisdom to know it's me."

Yes, we all know we can't change another person.  But do we all know that change within ourselves is ongoing, a constant, something to be celebrated?

I'm grateful to all my friends and family who send me private messages on Facebook, sharing experiences and feelings about all that is going on in their lives.   One friend in particular this morning surprised me with her words when she said, "Oddly the isolation suits me nicely.  I have my books, tv, computer, food - what more could I ask."

Her words impressed me and I thought, she is one empowered lady, able to appreciate the positive, the opportunity, and the peace that is there for us in these crazy days if we are able to stay calm and collected enough to accept the gift that is presented to us.

I made a post on Facebook earlier today.  The words were not mine, but I adopted them because they gave an apt description of the way I am feeling today.   Here is the post.

 Apart from my online courses, my piano lessons, my moderate aerobic workouts, my blogging, and my time spent with my furbabies, Sam and Lila, my days could be considered quite boring and empty.  But, the fact remains, that is not my experience.  I am not bored.  I spend time in meditation, in deep thought, and I discover that I'm able to take a philosophical look at my own life and the changes that I am experiencing; the further changes I plan to make.  

Like my friend who earlier emailed me and said, the isolation suits me nicely, I am also  finding many benefits to this strange new way of life.  I'm taking the time to get in closer touch with my feelings, my emotions, my memories, my hopes for the future, but mostly I'm taking the time to hopefully move a few baby steps closer to being the empowered woman I want to be.  

I'm experiencing lots of change in my life, even as I type this blog post; lots of changes that may or may not have anything to do with the pandemic.   And I feel okay.  I actually feel very good and positive about the direction my life is taking.   I am keeping the faith, trusting the truth of my mantra, "I am receiving all that is good in my life."    Even though everything taking place in my life may not, to an outside observer, seems positive, somehow I know that it is.  I know that life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to, and this makes me smile.

Thanks for listening to my rambling.  This is my sixth blog post since I began to live in self-isolation.  

I am grateful for the sunshine, for my early morning warm front porch, my backyard where, soon, I'll be able to do more than the daily poop patrols I currently carry out each day.  Soon I will be weeding and raking and maybe even some painting in my backyard. 

These pics taken last fall; when I was preparing the garden for winter.

I know I am blessed, and changes can and will come; they are welcome.   I won't break.  I am strong.  I've long ago learned to bend and to sway in the winds of change.   

I'm reminded of the old equation that I first heard years ago in a classroom, and one that I have often shared with counseling clients.   "Awareness plus Acceptance plus Action equals Change."  I feel pretty good because I'm aware and accepting of my current lifestyle.   Many years ago I wrote a poem.  I titled it the "The Power of One."   I would like to share it with you but I can't.  I have no idea where it is.  It's one of many poems I've written.  I went on a search for it but with no success.  I remember one line clearly which is, "The power of one has just begun."  

Somehow, today, this line means the world to me.   

In my search for "The Power of One", I found several of my old poems.  One of them titled "Through My Eyes", I will share with you because in these alone days of self-discovery and personal growth, the poem means a lot to me.  Maybe it will mean something to you too.

Through My Eyes

Standing there on that hill, in the sun

Tall and strong in your homespun robe

Hands, calloused from using hammer and nail in the shop,

Too soon will be bleeding from someone else's 

use of hammer and nail

For us!

You were a man's man in the strongest

sense of the word.

You were a ladies' man in the purest

Speaking of love and forgiveness

and judge not

Looking at you, through my eyes, Lord

I can't help but wonder

How You see me

through yours.

a poem written by me many years ago.  

If I ever find the poem, The Power of One, I will share it in my blog.

Another day of self-isolation will soon come to a close.  It's almost supper time now; time to feed my pups and to relax into the evening.

Again, thanks for listening to my rambling.   Stay safe and healthy.  I love you all.

Audrey.

I plan to resume counseling sessions with my beautiful clients

just as soon as authorities permit us to

be together once again.

If you have a desire to get to know yourself better,

to more clearly understand why you do the things you do,

then psychospiritual therapy

may be exactly what you want to experience in your life.

I am open to accepting three new clients,

in addition to those who already work with me,

once the world allows.

If interested, send me a PM on Facebook or 

email me  audrey@persona.ca

Our Getting High on Life Workshop for Women

focusing on Emotional Healing

and Being Authentic

is scheduled to take place

in the local library's meeting room

the afternoon of

Monday, September 21st.

I will hope to see you there.

The Strange New World In Which I Find Myself - 5

Today is Wednesday, April 15th.  I'm losing track of the number of days I am living in self-isolation.

This morning I completed an online course titled "Women's Holistic Challenge to Reboot Your Life."   It's not a certificate course but it is one I very much enjoyed.  It consisted of twenty-nine lectures by its facilitator, Zayra Mo, along with several videos; meditations; and an introduction to sound therapy including a most relaxing 'sound bath'.

I am technically challenged.  I have no idea how to create a video that would meet Udemy standards.  This is something I want to learn because I would like to share my workshops online through Udemy.  This education is something I've added to my bucket list.  As with my oil painting, the student awaits the arrival of the teacher.

I have found that my life in self-isolation is made easier when such interesting online courses are available.  They give me an opportunity to learn new things.  I love learning.  And these courses assist me in continuing my own personal growth journey throughout this crazy journey we call life. 

Since the earliest days of self-isolation I have now completed five or six courses.  I've lost count.  So far, all but this one, have been certificate courses.   Of course, the certificates are not worth the paper they are written on.  They are not accredited in any way but they are certificates of completion.   And there is something satisfying about completing a task.  I think of Jesus who, on the cross, said "It is finished."   His achievements were remarkable and thousands of years later millions of people love Him and are grateful for His teachings.    

My lesser achievements also make me grateful.  Jesus taught by example.   My mother taught by example.  I have the desire to teach by example.   On occasion I've been known to set a good one.   On occasion I've been known to mess up and do the opposite.  But I have also been taught that God loves a tryer.   No doubt He has often found me very trying.   Still I persist.  I am stubborn in my efforts, sometimes to the chagrin of others.

Throughout this time of self-isolation, I've had no visitors in my home so, apart from the few family members and friends who shared in the  dinner celebration during the weekend visit of my sister and my niece, no one is aware that my home was unbalanced due to the fact that my living-room windows boasted only one curtain apiece.

I'm happy to say that, now, balance is restored in my home.  Since my reno was completed several weeks ago, I have had the honour of setting a new trend in window dressing.  Each of my living-room windows possessed one curtain which hung on the left side.    This week the rest of my curtain order arrived and, just like that, I'm no longer a trend-setter. My home is once again relegated to its usual comfort level which is one of conservative balance.

Just like that, balance is restored so very easily.

If only it could be this simple to live a balanced life.

This leads me to think about how often my life becomes unbalanced.   Some friends have heard me say, "I spend half my life getting into things and the other half trying to get out of them." 

Too often I have thoughtlessly created this type of imbalance in my life.   I have sometimes found myself with too much time on my hands.  I have also sometimes found myself with too much to do and not enough time to do it all.    Usually I will do my best to restore balance by either eliminating an activity or, conversely, adding one and participating in something new.

I am the first to acknowledge that I teach what I need to learn.  And Wayne Dyer is the wonderful teacher who reminded me that I am not just a 'human doer'.   I am indeed a 'human being' and this is what I sometimes forget.  I forget how to 'simply be'.      Maybe this is why I wrote the self-help book which I titled "Simply BE"   I'm told that this book of mine has been a useful aid to others on their journey; perhaps in their meditation classes or other personal growth endeavours.

https://www.amazon.ca/Simply-BE-Audrey-Austin/dp/1508916101/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Audrey+Austin+Simply+Be&qid=1586962553&s=books&sr=1-1

Today in self-isolation I am reminded that I need only 'simply be'.   No demands are made of me other than those I create for myself.  My time is my own to do or not do whatever I wish.  This is something that, in the past, I always thought would be amazingly wonderful.  But I am discovering that, although it does present some valuable life lessons, self-isolation is not at all what I thought it would, or could, be.

I feel as though I am far from self-actualization.  I feel as though I am simply in survival mode - a time of waiting - an alone time of thoughtfulness - a time of cans in the pantry when I have never been one to get excited about eating food that comes in a can.

Today in self-isolation I am also reminded of past school days, or evenings, where I first learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.   I remember being introduced to Abraham Maslow who created a classification system which reflects the universal societal needs as its base and then proceeds to more acquired emotions.   I remember he used words like safety, belonging and love, social needs, esteem, and self-actualization to describe a pattern through which our human motivations move.

Maslow suggests that each stage must be satisfied within an individual before motivation will arise for the next stage.    The goal would be for each individual to complete his hierarchy, beginning with the goal of safety or survival and to hopefully, eventually, attain the fifth level which he called 'self-actualization'.

I admit I was living under the impression that perhaps in my personal life journey I was striving toward being authentic; being who I am; seeing a little bit of light shining on my goal of self-actualization.  I thought I had fulfilled my need for safety; for belonging and love; for the satisfaction of social needs; and I thought my self-esteem was not too shoddy.  

Then just like that - I wake up one morning and find myself in survival mode.  I find myself physically cut off from society; fearful of  encountering the dreaded Covid-19 virus.  I find myself living alone in my house.  I am allowed no visitor in my home.  I find myself being assisted by others to provide my essential needs without any physical or personal contact.  My shopping is being done for me; something I have always thought I was capable of doing for myself.   I find myself remembering times when, with friends, we shared that cuppa tea; shared that great conversation; shared plans for pleasurable outings.   I find myself often drawing on memory to shine a light.

I find myself sitting here at my breakfast bar on my high yellow stool typing away on my laptop to create another blog entry.   Naturally I wonder, will anyone care to read what I write?   Naturally, I know that I will write my words regardless because that's what writers do.  Writers write.   

This is my fifth blog entry since I started to live in self-isolation.  I ramble on and, somehow, and I don't know how or why, but somehow, the rambling feels good.   I have the illusion that I am being heard.  

I can't with any honesty say that I like this strange new world in which I find myself.   At the same time, I can with truthfulness, say that perhaps in its own strange way this new lifestyle will aid me in my journey to be authentic; to be who I really am.   I have to face the fact that in self-isolation there is no witness.  An individual is free to make use of the gift of time or not.  

Thanks for listening to my rambling.

I love you all.   Audrey.

Our Getting High On Life Workshop for Women

focused on Emotional Healing

and Being Authentic

Will, hopefully, take place

Monday afternoon, September 21st

in the Meeting Room of our local library.

The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 4

Today is Monday, April 13th, a statutory holiday for most here in Canada as it is the Monday following the Easter weekend.

Because of Covid-19 many Canadians do not need the statutory holiday this year because, sadly, if we combine the high unemployment rate with those who are choosing self-isolation, those who are working at home, and those who, like me, are retired from the working world, the unemployed probably now make up the largest proportion of our population.   

Without schools open to educate our children, even the kids won't appreciate that this day is a holiday from school.   For a few weeks now, every day has been a holiday, and many children are being home-schooled or receiving their classes on line.

This is, indeed, a strange new world in which I find myself.

There are now 24,804 confirmed cases of Covid-19 in my beautiful Canada.   

Premier Doug Ford tells me there are 421 new cases in Ontario.  7,470 is the large number of total cases in my home province. 

Forty-eight tickets were issued to people in Toronto this past weekend because they held gatherings, parties in their homes.  I cannot stretch my mind around the massive empty heads who continue to blindly disregard the social distancing rules to which we are all advised to adhere.  These people who do not self-isolate when called for; who do not social distance which is always called for, for everyone; who do not have respect for those who are doing their very best to help stop this serious and sometimes deadly virus are low-life in my opinion, and mine is the only opinion I have.   I know that calling another a nasty name will not change the situation.  Obviously even being fined does not change the situation.  What will stop these people who think they live above the law, above the rules, above everyone else?   What will it take to eradicate their selfishness?

I had an interesting morning while continuing my self-isolation here at home.  I completed another segment of the course I am currently taking online.  The course is called 'Women's Holistic Challenge To Reboot Their Life' and this wonderful course is facilitated by Zayra Mo, a very thoughtful, intelligent, interesting young woman with a beautiful smile and an amazing personality.   She truly inspires me to learn and to practice positive guidelines that will enrich my life.  'Be the attitude you want to be around' is just one of her uplifting suggestions.  

I recently, quietly, celebrated the publication of my most recent novel which is titled, "The Observer - His Eye is on the Sparrow".    My celebration was quiet because I was very excited about the prospect of having a Book Launch Bash this early summer.   Wonderfully talented musician friends stepped up and offered to perform at the Bash.  Thank you to all my talented musician friends who did so.  My church hall was there to be used for this celebration and the plan was to make the event a fund raiser.

Due to Covid-19 it is now unlikely that this Book Launch Bash will be taking place.

So, to my reading friends, I say thank you for checking out  "The Observer" on Amazon where it is available exclusively in both kindle and paperback format.  

The Amazon.ca link to this publication is https://www.amazon.ca/OBSERVER-His-Eye-Sparrow-ebook/dp/B0854BRFX8/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Audrey+Austin&qid=1586798598&s=books&sr=1-1

My Amazon author's page is found at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

For anyone in Elliot Lake who is interested, I do have twenty copies of this new book here at home.  The book is 391 pages long and it does include some illustrations.  It is a story of three generations of women; each on her own journey yet, despite different approaches to life, family patterns persist.  

If any of my reading friends here in Elliot Lake would like to buy a copy, please message me.  I can easily wrap and put a copy of The Observer into my mailbox for you to pick up and I will say thank you for the $20 you leave in my mailbox.

My dear friend, Lesley Blake, has returned from Florida, has completed her two weeks self-isolation upon her return, and is thankfully in good health.  This morning I was overjoyed to see her in my driveway.   We had a very short socially-distanced conversation.  My recent book is dedicated to my dear friend Lesley.  It was she who said to me, "Why not write about the observer?"   Thank you Lesley.   I hope you enjoy my gift of the story that resulted from your suggestion at the time of NaNoWriMo.

This morning I completed my thirty minute moderate aerobic workout.  I walk, kick, side-step, and twirl my way around my house under the guidance of Leslie Sanson who directs my every move on the old cassette tape.   I know it is important to exercise throughout these days of self-isolation.

I spent some time in my backyard but the cold wind kept my outing short.  Now I'm back in the house with Sam and Lila; cozy, warm and grateful for my comfortable home.   The Last Temptation of Christ is on TV and now I am watching it; a wonderful film I saw years ago with my sister, Muriel.  Watching it again, without her, is a reminder to me of the many friends and family members who have passed away since I first watched this movie long ago.

I will take my herbal tea and cozy up under my throw in my lazy boy chair and spend the afternoon being the lazy girl.   Such is my life in self-isolation.  I am blessed.

Be well.  Stay safe and healthy.

Love, Audrey.  

Our 'Getting High on Life Workshop for Women'

focusing on Emotional Healing & Being Authentic

will hopefully be taking place

in our local library's meeting room

Monday, September 21st.

I truly hope to see you there.

The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 3

Today is April 9th, 2020.  More importantly, today is Maundy Thursday.  Maundy Thursday is the Christian holy day falling on the Thursday before Easter.  It commemorates the Washing of the Feet and the Last Supper of Jesus Christ as described in the Bible.

Maundy Thursday is also known as Holy Thursday, Covenant Thursday, Great and Holy Thursday, Sheer Thursday, and Thursday of Mysteries, among other names.

Of all these names, my favourite is the Thursday of Mysteries.  I've read several books on the mysticism of Christ and this is a subject that fascinates me.  I am more of a spiritual person than a religious one as most of you who know me realize.  The mysticism in all religions and traditions is something I am always open to learn more about.

I've just finished reading the Maundy Thursday service that I received through my email from my United Church Minister, Rev. Cory Vermeer-Cuthbert.   I appreciated this service and as I was guided by her words I did symbolically eat of the bread, drink of the wine, even if what I really did was eat of a cracker and drink of my chamomile tea.  God knows I always try to do the best I can with what I've got.

I also washed my hands in memory of Jesus whose feet were washed that sad day prior to his crucifixion.   Thank you Rev. Cory for this opportunity to carry out this symbolic ritual, even though there is no church open to attend a service during these days of Covid-19,

And now I sit here drinking my tea and I don't feel like smiling as I look through my dining room window and see the snow falling.   Only this morning I opened my shed and carried two deck chairs into my backyard so that my best friend and I could visit, socially distancing ourselves, but at least in the comfort of a chair.   

Today it is probably too cold for a visit and, in any event, our wonderful age-friendly shopping/delivery service is part of my best friend's schedule today and that is something he doesn't want to miss by leaving home.

I was grateful to have my food order delivered by kind city staff yesterday.  I placed my order Monday and received my groceries Wednesday.  Considering the high number of seniors these staff members are assisting in this way, I think the timing of my wait was amazing.  They are doing an incredible job and offering a much appreciated service to those seniors who, like me, are in self-isolation.

Today, so far, I haven't been sticking to the schedule I set for myself just a few days ago; the schedule that mental health experts suggest we create in order to provide much needed structure in our lives at this time.

I began my morning as usual by making the bed. I sometimes question the wisdom of such an act but as a friend reminded me recently, beginning the day with an act of completion, with a sense of achievement, lays a good foundation for the activities that follow throughout the day.  Making the bed is a motivator.

Then, as usual, before making my breakfast I let Sam and Lila out into the yard to do their duty before giving them their breakfast.

My schedule indicated it was time for my piano lesson at 9:30 but long before then I was already immersed in watching Dr. Tam and other Canadian health authorities as they presented their federal projections regarding Covid-19 for our beautiful Canada.   Dr. Tam reminded us, as she always does, to stay at home; to continue self-distancing; to wash our hands.  

As expected, the projections were not something to get excited about or to sing about.  It was suggested that possibly the end of summer could be the end of the first wave of the pandemic.  But she stressed that it was really too early to know when the peak will be reached.    I appreciate the straightforward, calm, and careful ways these projected statistics were shared.

Today I did get to my piano lesson.  Ann Foy, you may be interested in knowing that this morning I was playing "When The Saints Go Marching In", my introduction to three chords.  And I thought, with my weird sense of humour, that maybe it wasn't the worst choice of songs to be playing in these crazy days.

My planned schedule has really been ignored today but that's all right.   Each day is a new gift and I never know what will take place but I hang onto the mantra that I  created for myself yesterday during my online course, "I am receiving all that is good in my life."

It's time to feed my pups and almost time to prepare my own supper so I won't be working on my course today, nor will I be doing any painting, but as Scarlet would say, "Tomorrow is another day."

I hope you are enjoying this day despite the isolation; despite the nasty weather.  

And I keep sending out the same reminder.  I've written a lot of stories.  They are all available exclusively on Amazon.  I hope you will want to buy and read one.  They are available in paperback or in Kindle format.  Five of my stories are available as audiobooks on Amazon, Audibles, and iTunes.   My Canadian readers will most appreciate Amazon.ca  
  

https://www.amazon.ca/OBSERVER-His-Eye-Sparrow-ebook/dp/B0854BRFX8/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=Audrey+Austin&qid=1586464123&s=books&sr=1-4   is the link to my most recent publication and my author's page is found at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.  I love you all.

Our Getting High On Life women's workshop

focusing on Emotional Healing and Being Authentic

originally scheduled for May 11th

has been postponed.

I hope to see you

Monday, September 21st, 2020

in the Meeting Room of our local library.

Hopefully by then Covid-19 will be just a memory.

The Strange New World in Which I Find Myself - 2

Today is Wednesday, April 8th, 2020.  I've just finished sanitizing and putting away the groceries kindly shopped for and delivered to me by the City.  In this instance, it is a big thank-you to Brenda Lackie for taking my order over the phone, and to Meghan for making the trip to No Frills where she shopped for me and delivered the groceries to my side porch.  
How wonderful that today I received 19 of the 20 items I requested.  Powdered milk is something I have been ordering for the past three orders but I understand it must be in short supply.
This is the third time I have used the free Age Friendly Service offered by our beautiful City of Elliot Lake.  I recall that my first order was taken over the phone by Pat McGurk, our lovely librarian, while my second order was taken by Darla Hennessey.    How caring these people are to give of their time to help seniors such as myself who are in self-isolation due to Covid-19.   I am grateful to all city employees who are giving of their time in this generous and thoughtful way.

I am sticking to the schedule I've set for myself during these days of isolation.  This morning early I had a wonderful time re-learning the piano lessons taught to me by Ann Foy several years ago.  I have no talent for piano playing but this doesn't prevent me from having fun learning the notes, the hand placement, the chords.  These lessons even remind me to watch my posture and keep my back straight; not something I am as proficient at as I could be.  I think I spend too many hours literally hunched over my laptop.

Today, as I've been doing every day for the past three weeks of self-isolation, I did my 30 minute moderate aerobic exercises on the completion of which  after many kicks, side-steps, and knee lifts, I manage to complete a 2 mile walk around my house.  Thanks to Lesley Sanson, I am guided through the steps and I enjoy the music on the old cassette tape.  The exercise is almost like dancing and dancing, although something I love to do, is something I haven't done since Valentine's Day, and only the good Lord knows when I will be asked to dance again.

I continued with my Udemy course today and today I was encouraged to be 'bold and loud' … not screaming loud Zayra Mo instructed, but assertively loud.   I can still hear her now saying, don't be afraid to say NO.  And when you want and need to say NO, say it loud, say it with meaning.   I really am growing to love Zayra and her course.   She has an amazing personality.

And today prior to the sound therapy with her beautiful crystal singing bowls, I was instructed to take a few minutes and write my personal mantra; one that I could take into the meditation.  I thought of a few things before deciding on an affirmative 'I am' mantra.  The one I chose is 'I am receiving all that is good in my life.'

And I believe that I am -- to receive all but one of my grocery items today made me believe my magical mantra is working for me.

I don't know if I will write in this blog every day but I am going to try to do so.   Other things on today's schedule that I've yet to do are to go downstairs into my basement art room and do some oil painting.  I haven't done any oil painting for a long time and I'm still waiting for the teacher to appear, which makes me realize I am not yet ready.  But that's okay, whether I am talented at painting or not, does not take away from the enjoyment I experience in the process.  Once I finish the painting I started working on yesterday, and will continue with this afternoon, I will post it in one of my blog entries.  Even when my paintings are not amazing, I still agree with instructor, Zayra, and I show my work to the world.  I'm not afraid to be bold and loud, even if I do usually talk in a quiet tone -- not always, but usually. 

I'm grateful that I am not alone in my self-isolation.  Sam and Lila are amazing companions.  My little furbabies help to keep me on my schedule with their meal times and of course the necessary daily poop patrol that I carry out each day in my backyard.

And I'm grateful that I have a backyard and a deck where I sometimes just walk in a large circle as I silently meditate and enjoy the warmth of the sun on days it decides to shine.  I'm sure if anyone happened to see me walking in these circles they would be sure to think I'm an actor in the old movie, 'The Snake Pit'.   Anyone remember that old classic movie about the woman in the mental institution?

I don't have a schedule for my evenings.  They are pleasurable with me mostly watching movies on TV.  Each evening my Kindle Reader is there for me and I relax reading a good story.  I'm fortunate that I love to read and I love to write.   I also love to learn.  Even as a little kid I always adored school, learning new things and meeting new challenges.    If you also enjoy learning, I do recommend the Udemy courses.   If you look for them, you will find free or low-cost courses on a variety of topics that you can do in your own time online.  

I do listen to the news, or watch the news I guess I should say.  I primarily watch CBC for the news and I greatly admire and respect both our Canadian Prime Minister and our Ontario Premier for their strong leadership skills during this challenging time for everyone.

And they are challenging times for everyone.   Of course, I wish the best for all, but there is some small comfort in knowing that in these days of self-isolation I am not alone.   Other than essential workers, we are all called upon to practice social distancing and in many cases, self-isolation.

One of my American writer friends, Earl Sewell, lives in Chicago.  He tells me that everyone in his city has been ordered to 'shelter in place'.   I like that term 'shelter in place'.   I think it sounds much more warm and friendly than the words 'self isolation'.   Yes, the words are different but the meaning remains the same.   Stay home!

And that's what I'm doing and I hope my writing is of interest to you.   I never know what each day is going to bring.  I'm never sure what I will write about.  But I do find that once I've written the first sentence or two, the words just seem to jump out onto the page without a lot of help from me.

So now I will re-read what I've written; correct any spelling mistakes that I'm sure I have made, and I hope you may find some benefit somewhere from something I've said.   If my blogging encourages you to start blogging, I'll be overjoyed to hear about that.

By the way, a reminder again that I have written a lot of short stories and books that are all available exclusively on Amazon.  My author's page is found at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin     If you buy a book, you will make my day.  Thank you.

I love you all.  Please stay safe and healthy,


Audrey.  

Our 'Getting High On Life' women's workshop 

on Emotional Healing and Being Authentic

originally scheduled for May 11th

has been postponed

to September 21st, 2020.

I hope by then self-isolation will be just a memory.

The Strange New World In Which I Find Myself

Today, April 7th, 2020, I made a decision which is to write about the impact Covid-19 is having on my personal life, my writing life, my working life, my relationship with family and with friends.

Where to begin?  My dear mother would remind me that it is always wise to start at the beginning.   In the beginning, for me, I thought there was a lot of fuss being made about something quite minor.  To borrow from Shakespeare, I believed there was "much ado about nothing".   

At the time I was planning a family dinner here at home; anticipating the arrival of my sister and my niece to come to Elliot Lake for a weekend visit.   To celebrate the occasion I invited my grandsons, my daughter, and some friends to join in the festivities.

The day of our dinner, CBC told me that there were 200 cases of Covid-19 across the entire large area of my beautiful Canada.    Uninformed and basically ignorant of the reality we would all soon be facing, I enjoyed our family dinner, the hugs, the love, the food, and the companionship.  It was a good day.

Today it is a wonderful memory.  I now think about my life as how I lived it before the family dinner on March 14th, and how I live it after the family dinner.  In this way I've made the family gathering a milestone, if you will, 

Because today, across my beautiful Canada, there are now 17,049 confirmed cases of Covid 19 with 349 deaths.  In my beloved province of Ontario today there are 4,726 confirmed cases of Covid 19 with 345 deaths.  Globally, there are now 1,381,014 confirmed cases of Covid 19 and I understand there have been 78,269 deaths.  My heart breaks for the families directly impacted by these statistics.    

I'm very grateful I had my family dinner when I did because now I live in self-isolation and have been doing so for three weeks.  Thank God, I am in good health and, thankfully, at this time of writing, my family and friends are all well.

Unfortunately, there are now three cases of this virus in my small home town.

It has taken me some time to get used to living in self-isolation.  I'm very grateful for the companionship of  Sam and Lila, my two ten-year-old chihuahua handfuls.

Just as mental health experts suggest, I have taken the steps to ensure that my days are structured.  I've even gone so far as to tape a schedule onto my fridge door and I'm doing my best to stick to the schedule.

I am allowing my evenings to remain schedule-free.  This may or may not change in the future.

One of the many things on my schedule is the time to take online courses.   I know how important it is, in my senior years, to keep my mind active.

The course I am currently taking is facilitated by Zayra Mo, a lovely, bright, and intelligent young  woman who is sharing her knowledge, her wisdom, and her singing glass bowls with her students.   

Today was my day three of the course.  The focus was on intention and goal setting and the difference between these two thoughts.   

In discussing these topics, attention was placed upon soul values, defining life purpose, being the best one can be. 

Now that I am in self-isolation, I no longer have personal contact with my counseling clients.  In fact, I have personal contact with no one.  I am totally dependent upon social media, email, or the phone in order to stay in touch with family and friends.   

Had I been able to see into the future I would have purchased a better phone long before the arrival of Covid 19.   I never needed to make a lot of use of a phone, and for this reason I satisfied my needs with an old flip phone. Today this old phone is good for short conversations but only if one can put up with the lack of sound clarity.  A five minute conversation means that my phone needs to find its way back onto its charging stand.

Understandably, I hope, I do not encourage phone calls unless they have the nature of an emergency.   I do rely on my phone to place my order for groceries through the wonderful Age Friendly Shopping/delivery service offered by our amazing City of Elliot Lake.  

For this reason, without a reliable phone, I am basically dependent upon social media and email to stay in touch with others.

So today I decided to start keeping a blog about my journey through the Covid 19 self-isolation experience and I am happy to share, with anyone who might be interested, the seven sentences used in the online course titled "Women's Holistic Challenge To Reboot Their Life" that describe a confident, empowered woman.

In this course the following seven sentences were used to describe the qualities found in a confident woman; a women who is empowered.
1. They own their flaws and strengths. 
2. They keep clear priorities.
3. They speak up. 
4. They pair action with knowledge. 
5. They accept the value of failure. 
6. They make the most of small wins. 
7. They build momentum

Do any or all of these points describe you?

If not, perhaps some journaling or some meditative self-examination will be something you would like to add to your schedule of daily activities during your own self-isolation.  I know these are things that are part of my daily life activities.

I think of a good friend who said not too long ago in one of his videos, "It's important to practice, practice, practice."  Now we've all heard those words before.  But what he said that truly left an impression on me was not 'practice makes perfect' but instead, 'practice makes better'.   

We can all practice ways and means to continue personal growth activities on our journey toward being our best selves.    

I try to make the point in several of my own Facebook posts that being expert at any given activity is not a requirement in order to be your best self.  What is needed is a willingness to try and the knowledge that we are willing to practice in order to become better; to be our own best friend; to be able to look into a mirror and smile knowing we will not let ourselves down.

If you are also living these very strange days in self-isolation, I hope that something I've said in this post will be of some help to you.   We are all in this together.  Be good to yourself.   Being good to yourself is not a selfish act.   Just ask yourself, how can I be strong for others if I am not strong and being good to myself?

By the way, I hope reading is part of your daily life activities.  Please don't forget I have many books available for your reading enjoyment on Amazon.ca    And my author's page is found at 
https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

Thanks for listening.   I love you all.  

Audrey.  :-)

Our Getting High On Life Workshop

focusing on

Emotional Healing and Being Authentic

that was scheduled for May 11th

has been postponed

to

Monday, September 21st, 2020.

I hope to see you there.