Bittersweet feelings throughout the Christmas season ...

 Today is the first day of Advent which means it is the first day of a new Liturgical calendar, and it is the beginning of the four week period of preparation in anticipation of Christmas, the birth of Jesus.   This celebration is, for me, the reason for the season.

And the Advent Season is all about reflecting on how we can prepare our homes and our hearts for remembering and honouring this momentous birth in our world as it is today in 2020.

I began a day early decorating my living-room in anticipation of a lovely Christmas dinner that I will feel blessed and happy to enjoy with family members on Christmas Day.  My decorations celebrate the fun of Christmas with the carolers, the big, beautiful Santa Claus wearing the white suit and cap, and the little mouse who can dance while he sings Jingle Bells.

My decorations also honour the sacred celebration of the child's birth. 

The Nativity

Three Wise Men

I had fun decorating the room and was grateful when my friend, Chuck, assisted by hanging the Christmas wreath in the living room window.  We thought it looked good even when we realized later that we hung the wreath up sideways.

I couldn't have decorated the room so quickly had it  not been for Chuck's help carrying the heavy bin of decorations up from the basement.  I appreciated his help and his  reward was a pretty Christmas wreath to hang on the front door of his new home just across the street from mine.

Soon Chuck and I will celebrate the first anniversary of our very special friendship.

The same day that I was enjoying the happiness of Christmas decorating,  Facebook sent me memory pictures taken three years ago of my first Christmas with my fur babies Sam and Lila.

My lovely Princess Delilah (Lila), Christmas 2017

My handsome Samson (Sam), Christmas 2017

I was tearful viewing the photo of my beautiful Sam because just a few months ago I lost this beloved little furbaby to stomach cancer.   He won't be with me this Christmas and this breaks  my heart but, thankfully, my pretty, little Lila will celebrate the season with me again this year.

My sadness remembering Sam was a powerful one and I was reminded of many recent losses.  Within the past three years I lost not only Sam, but also Brian, my loving partner; and my elder brother Ken who, like Brian and Sam, passed away.  In this same period of time I have lost my elder sister, Eleanor; not to death, but to the dreaded Alzheimer disease.

Covid-19 has been the cause of many other losses including the opportunity to continue my practice as Psychospiritual Practitioner; and as workshop facilitator.  I've lost the opportunity, as most of us have, to gather in large groups with friends; to socialize, to enjoy music, plays, and to dance up a storm at the Ren Centre with my best friend, Chuck.

If I allowed myself to dwell on all these losses, Christmas this year would be a sad occasion indeed.

There isn't one among us who has not suffered loss of one kind or another.   We can visit these losses.  We can remember.  We can honour those who are no longer with us.  We can hold dear the memories of the events and activities no longer available to us.

Yes, we can visit these losses, just as I allowed myself to visit some of mine on the first day of Advent, but we cannot live there.  

No, instead I remind myself to remember the joy of the wonderful years shared with my grumpy Sam who ruled the house.  He was the King, and I have a million happy memories of sharing love and life with my beautiful, little furbaby. And as I remember him, I think of The Dudley; my handsome Ki; my little cat, Sunny; and my little budgie, Sara.  

I remember the many wonderful, loving, and mostly happy years Brian and I spent together.  We did almost everything together, and I honour his memory.  I remember how much he loved Christmas and how creative he was in adding to the fun and joy of the festivities.  I remember the love we shared.

I remember my elder brother, Ken,  the amazing talented landscape artist; the son who was always there for his mother when she needed him; the brother who opened his home every year at Christmas time when all the kids were little and the many happy family Christmases we shared together.

I remember my elder sister, Eleanor, who shared my birthday,  We were born on the same day twelve  years apart.  She always told me I was the best birthday present she ever received.  I remember her many visits home from Bermuda.  I remember the times we laughed and had such a good time at the CNE; at Ontario Place; downtown in the Eaton Centre; or just laughing and playing good board games at home. I remember her last visit with me here in Elliot Lake.  We shared our birthday together and at the same time we celebrated my retirement from working life.

I remember my parents who loved their children; my father who died too young at the age of 49, and my mother who, thankfully, shared the journey with her children until she reached the age of 84.

I remember my dear sister, Muriel.  Too soon, cancer took her away from me too.  She was only 68 years old.  But I remember the countless long phone conversations where sometimes we would just talk for hours.  I remember when she moved to Elliot Lake and together we learned how to clog.  We shared dinners; fun times; and talked about how we would do even more once I retired.  Sadly, she passed away before my retirement day.  But I will never forget the many, many nights we sat outside and, together, watched the night sky and shared spiritual experiences that were unique and special to us.

Remembering and honouring the sadness is important to me as I prepare to  welcome, with gratitude, the joy of this Christmas season.

I am grateful that my brother, Ray, and my sister,  Linda are alive and well; ready to celebrate the season with their children and grandchildren.

I am grateful for my little Lila who is my constant companion and adorable little girl.

I am grateful that this Christmas I will be spending the big day with my daughters, my son-in-law, my three grandsons and their partners; my best friend, Chuck; and my beautiful great-granddaughter, Cecilia Wren, the newest addition to my family.

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Meeting my great-granddaughter, Cecilia Wren, for the first time.

On Christmas Day there will be the big turkey dinner with all the trimmings.  There will be the fun of playing the gift game and, for me, the joy in having everyone together to celebrate a very special day.

Often I've heard people say, "Don't get carried away with the joy of the season because we need to remember there are many who experience deep sadness due to great losses especially at this time of year."   I understand people mean well when they say this.

But I don't agree with them in that regard.   There is not one among us who has not suffered losses.   I believe that those who have lost the most will benefit the most from having joyful, hopeful, and caring people around them.   

In our society we tend to equate being alone at Christmas with being unhappy.  But this is not necessarily the fact.

I always hope and pray that those who will be alone at Christmas will reach out to a friend who is also alone if this is what they choose to do.    In my lifetime I have spent two Christmases totally alone.  They were not bad times.   The reason, for me, that they were not bad days is because I know that I am never alone even when there is no one else around.  Faith is my friend.

For those of you who will be alone this Christmas, I am keeping you in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Christmas Eve is only twenty-five days away.   As we journey through Advent we prepare to celebrate the birth of our Lord.  We will do it with joy, with sadness, with excitement, and maybe with some disappointment.  The important thing is that we prepare with feeling.  All emotions are good.  These feelings are evidence that we are alive.   We are here to be who we are,  and to be ready for whatever we may encounter on this journey.

Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts.

Life is good and life goes on.

NaNoWriMo - Day 16

NaNoWriMo - Day 16:

It is written.  STRUGGLE - To Reach the Bridge of Light is now the first draft of my newest novel.

I awakened way too early today, and I think this was because I was anxious to meet the NaNo Challenge.  By seven a.m. I was typing.  It is now only 9:30 a.m. on Day sixteen of the challenge and this morning I wrote 1,711 words (so far) bringing my total word count to 50,222.

I feel good.  As my writer friends will agree, now the real work will begin for me.  I have my first draft; a good place to begin, and I hope by the spring of 2021 (if not before) to have a manuscript in publication.  Watch for the birth of a new book in both paperback and kindle.  Like all my publications, this book will be available exclusively on Amazon.  

My seven characters; Carley, Maria, Emily, Joseph, Bernard, Constance, and John were all rescued from the old, brown boat.  With the guidance of Archangel, they survived what no one else could.

Like all humans, these seven struggled throughout their lives.  Once rescued, is their struggle over or will a new one begin?

To find the answer to this question, you will need to buy the book and I hope you will.

I retired from the full time working world thirteen  years ago.  That is when I began to take creative writing seriously.  Since that time I have written nineteen books.  The nineteen are comprised of ten novels, two personal growth manuals; one book of poetry; two books for children; and four short story anthologies; not forgetting the tons of short stories that dare, like Daniel, to stand alone in the kindle store.

I discovered that I am a prolific writer.  It is safe to say that creative writing is my passion.  

I owe a debt of gratitude to my dear friend, Maggie Kirton.  She is the force who motivated and cheered me on thirteen years ago. Through her company, Wynterblue Publishing, I realized my dream of publication.  My earliest books were all published by Wynterblue Publishing.  

Through Wynterblue's regular writing competitions, I allowed my crazy imagination to go wild creating short stories; many of which were published over the years in Wynterblue's anthologies.  Mags, you were, and you are today, my inspiration.   Thank you for your encouragement throughout this, another NaNo Challenge.  I love you, my friend.

Thank you to the NaNoWriMo Challenge.  Last year at this time NaNo motivated me to create the first draft of THE OBSERVER - His Eye is on the Sparrow  which is my most recent publication on Amazon.    

Thank you to my friends who buy my books.  Some of you have bought a copy of every book I've written.  Thank you so much and I hope you will want to buy STRUGGLE - To Reach the Bridge of Light  once I have it all dressed up and ready to meet the world.

Thanks for your encouragement and support.  For me now, the NaNoWriMo Challenge is complete for another year.   For my writing friends who are still reaching for the magic 50,000, I wish you success.  NaNo is a great motivator.  I've had fun and I hope you are enjoying the process too.

Now, back to work.  :-) 

NaNoWriMo - Day 15

 NaNoWriMo - Day 15:

This cold, rainy Sunday has been a perfect day for creative writing.  Today I added 3,752 words to STRUGGLE - To Reach the Bridge of Light.   My current word count is 48,511 which makes me feel really good despite the sore back and the aching eyes.

I believe, if all goes according to plan,  I will meet the NaNo Challenge of 50,000 words tomorrow.

So much happened to and for the seven characters of this 'spiritual/science fiction' today.  And I don't even know if there is such a genre, but if there wasn't, there is now, because I am writing one that fits just about okay.

Today my characters understand why they were chosen to be aboard the old, brown boat.  They now know where they will be going next.  And, maybe most important of all, they understand why only seven have been chosen.

Apart from creative writing, I've done little today.  Lila and I had breakfast, and lunch, and now it is time to make supper.  Because of all the wind and rain, Lila has done a lot of sleeping today.  And I have been feeling grateful that she is paper-trained so she has not had to go out into the rain storm.

It is supper time and I am still in my old blue robe and slippers.  I did manage to wash my face and comb my hair but otherwise, as I've already said, this was a perfect day for creative writing.

Thank you for your continued encouragement and support. You have no idea how important it has been to me.  All the best to my writing buddies.  I hope you are enjoying the challenge as much as I am.

NaNoWriMo - Day 14

NaNoWriMo - Day 14:  My current word count has reached 44,759 since writing 3,952 words today.

This has been a most challenging writing day.  I experienced problems with my Microsoft  Word programme; problems I could not solve on my own so a lot of time was wasted.  I am grateful to my dear friend and talented Nano Writing Buddy, Sheal, who showed me how to fix the issue.

 It has been a cloudy, cold day.  Lila didn't want to spend much time doing her business in the backyard so I knew she wouldn't care if, for one day, we didn't take our Lila walk.   

Because I was struggling so much with STRUGGLE, her lunch as well as my own was much later than usual this afternoon.   It's almost time now to give the little one her supper.

I am very grateful for my best friend, Chuck, who, although also a NaNo participant, has taken the time to put a dinner together in his slow cooker.  He's going to come over early this evening, cooker in hand.  I'll have the table set and the wine poured and we will enjoy some time together before we get back at the writing again in the morning.

Today my seven characters, with the aid of Archangel, left the Island of St. Eustatius and along the bridge of light they traversed and finally boarded the old, brown boat that had long ago been left alone in the sea.  Where will they go from here?

That is a mystery to them.  And, if I'm going to be perfectly honest, it's not exactly totally clear to this author either.  

But tomorrow is another day.

Despite the struggle, I'm having a good time with STRUGGLE.  All the best to my writing buddies.  I hope your day today was much smoother than mine.  

Tomorrow is another day.  :-)

NaNoWriMo - Day 13

 

This is NaNoWriMo - Day 13.  I've been head-down writing most of this cold and rainy day.  I've been kept warm by the excitement of my seven characters as they make their journeys and arrive upon the little island in the Lesser Antilles.

They have not had an opportunity yet to get to know each other but they are happy to see one another in this strange yet beautiful place.  They look forward to getting acquainted.

And that's where my writing will begin tomorrow.

It's five p.m. and time to feed Lila and make some supper for myself so I am stopping for now.

So far today I have written 4,057 words.  My total  word count  for STRUGGLE -  to reach the Bridge of Light  is now 40,807.   I have met the goal I set for myself.

Less than 10,000 words to go to meet the NaNoWriMo Challenge and with seventeen days remaining in November I'm feeling confident.

Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.  I'm really enjoying this story.  The characters are really taking me for a good long ride.    

Of course, at this point, as an author, I'm well aware that so far I have only written words -- once I complete the 50,000 words, the real work will begin.  But I'm happy with this beginning.

Wishing the best to my writing buddies.  Are you having as much fun as me?  I sure hope so.

NaNoWriMo - Day 12

 NaNoWriMo - day 12:

This is day 12 of the 30 day NaNoWriMo Challenge.  Today I added 2,348 words to Struggle - To the Bridge of Light, making my current word count 36,750.   

Four of my seven characters shared their thoughts of 'tomorrow' with me today.  Tomorrow I will be communicating with the final three and hope to also get their thoughts and feelings down on paper.

Soon the motley group of seven will reach the little island in the Lesser Antilles.  Will their struggle be over or will a new one begin?

Apart from writing today, a visit to the local veterinarian with my little chihuahua, Princess Delilah, better known as Lila, was very reassuring and productive.  Lila received her annual shots and behaved very well throughout her check-up.   Her heart murmur has increased to a rate of four out of six so this is a concern.  Otherwise, my little girl is doing very well.

A nice walk in the park after the vet's visit was good for her and for me too.   Even a short walk is refreshing after so many hours sitting at a computer.

But I'll be back at it tomorrow.  I'm totally enjoying this NaNoWriMo challenge.

All the best to my writing buddies.  Hope you are happy with the way your word count is rising.

For those of you who don't know, STRUGGLE is not my first novel in the making.   All my publications are available exclusively on Amazon and I hope you will check them out.  https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin

NaNoWriMo - Day 11

 

Today was Day 11 of my NaNoWriMo Challenge, 2020.   I have written 3,310 words today and the current word count for STRUGGLE - To Reach the Bridge of Light  is 34, 402.

As the author, I struggled in my effort to understand how the seven characters would find their way to the little island in the Lesser Antilles.  My mind was full of ideas, but not one idea seemed like the right one.

I  took a break; showered; did Lila's poop patrol in the back yard; listened to some music.

Then, out of nowhere, or so it seemed, I had the answer.

In no time at all I had my characters  on the move.  Well, so far just two of them, but now that I know how they will make this long journey, it will be much easier to follow the remaining five as they travel.

I was blessed today to take a break away from the house.  I felt honoured to meet my beautiful and bright great-granddaughter, Cecilia, for the first time.  She is an inspiration.

After this amazing visit with Cecilia and her happy parents, I tried to enjoy a Lila walk at Spruce Beach but the wind was blowing and it was very cold.  I enjoyed the finish of the short walk, and the arrival back home where Chuck and I did enjoy a game of Rummy.

And then it was dinner time.  Chuck had gone home.  Lila was fed.  I cooked and ate my supper, and then, it was time.  It was time to get back to work.

After supper I wrote another close to a thousand words, and when I start writing tomorrow morning, I'll be with the third character as he also finds his way to the little Caribbean island.   Life is good.

Do you wonder why they all want to make this journey?  I hope you do.  But to find the answer, you are going to need to read the book once I get it completed.  :-)

All the best to my writing buddies.  I hope you are also enjoying the NaNo journey.

Meeting Cecilia -- what a blessing to be a great-grandmother!

 November 11, 2020 -- meeting my great-granddaughter, Cecilia, for the first time.

NaNoWriMo - Day 10

 

This is Day 10 of the NaNoWriMo 2020 Challenge.  My day is not over but it's time for me to take a break.   Today was not so much about getting more words on the page.  Today was about finding and following the direction my characters were giving.     

Each of the seven have shared with me about their todays.  For some it was emotionally difficult but they all did finally share their yesterdays.  

Now it is time for them to talk about tomorrow.  Tomorrow they will dream and they will follow their dream to a tiny island in the Lesser Antilles.

The seven will finally meet one another.  Will they get along?  I am the author, but I don't know the answer to that yet.    I will know about this when I commence writing again.

STRUGGLE - To Reach The Bridge of Light  is happening.

Today I wrote only 1,924 words bringing the total word count to 31,092.  All is well.

I'm totally immersed in this story now and I can't wait to see how it ends.

Wishing the best to my writing buddies.  I hope you're having as much fun as I am.

NaNoWriMo - Day 9

 This is Day 9 of NaNoWriMo 2020.  Much has taken place.  STRUGGLE is now titled STRUGGLE, To Reach the Bridge of Light.

The seven characters have welcomed a new forceful character.  This character is the world personified and the world has a lot to say.

But no one wants to listen to what the world is proclaiming.  Well, no one, but perhaps, just maybe, the seven characters will pay attention.

The characters have led me to a current word total of 30,076.  I have passed the half-way mark in my challenge.   And my characters have passed the half-way mark in their stories.  

By now they have shared their todays, and their yesterdays.

When I starting working on this writing project again tomorrow, it will be time for the characters to tell us about their tomorrows.

I can hardly wait to see what they have to tell me and to see where they will lead me.

I'm loving the adventure.

Today I enjoyed a lovely walk in the park with Lila and Chuck.  The rest of my day has been spent head-down and writing.

Hope my writing buddies are having as much fun as I am with this NaNo project.

Thanks for your continued support.  It's time to feed Lila, make my supper, and to enjoy a relaxing evening.

NaNoWriMo - Day 8

 

So far today, on Day 8, of my NaNoWriMo Challenge, I have written 3,679 words.  I may write some more after dinner but for now it's time to stop to feed Lila and enjoy a little time in the back yard on this beautiful sunny, unusually warm November day.   

My current word total on STRUGGLE  is 27,083.  Today, some of the characters shared a lot with me about their pasts, and they were willing to let me in on why they are doing some of the stuff they are up to today.  I'm growing to know, and to like my characters.  I'm also doing my best to understand them in order to share that understanding in my book when I'm ready to self-publish.

You can bet I'll let you know when that day comes.

I'm learning a lot and I love learning just as much as I love creative writing.

I did take some breaks from writing today.  I enjoyed a shared lunch with Chuck this afternoon.  I had made some potato salad and he got busy barbecuing some delicious sausage.   

And it was a pleasure to enjoy a visit from dear friends, Treena and Neil, after which Chuck and I went for a lovely Lila walk in the park at Spruce Beach.

And now it's time to give the lovely Lila her supper, and to throw something together for my own.  

Thanks for your continued support and wishing success to my writing buddies, as always.

As Scarlet would say, "Tomorrow is another day."

NaNoWriMo - Day 7

 
Today is Day 7 of the NaNoWriMo Challenge.

23,404 is the current word count for STRUGGLE.   The seven major characters are not a bit shy about sharing their stories and they are making this author's job a lot of fun.

Their stories take place in a variety of locations around the world including Toronto, Canada; Nazca, Peru; Summerside, P.E.I., Canada; Caracas, Venezuela; Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada; Milford, Connecticut, U.S.A.; and Manurewa, South Auckland, New Zealand.

What is it that these men and women share in common?  It is true that they each endure struggle throughout their life experience. What is it that brings the seven people together?  Will their struggle be rewarded?

I'm almost half-way to the NaNoWriMo challenge of 50,000 words.

Thanks for your continued support, and best of success to my writing buddies.  Hope you are enjoying this journey.

Welcome to the world and to our family, Cecilia xoxoxoxox

 

I am overjoyed to announce the arrival of my first great-grandchild; the beautiful Cecilia Wren Cianciusi, was born in our Elliot Lake Hospital early this evening. Cecilia weighs 7 lb. 1 oz; a delightful bundle of joy. Mommy and Daddy, Christine & Matthew, are doing well. How blessed am I to become a great-grandmother. Welcome to the family Cecilia. Can't wait to meet you in person.

NaNoWriMo - Day 6

 

This has been an interesting writing day with only a few interruptions.  The lady with the doggy shirts arrived at one but, unfortunately, they were too big and Lila would swim in them. I didn't make the purchase.    A happy interruption was the sale of my old dining set.   And, of course, the pleasurable Lila walk in the park with Chuck, with a stop at my beautiful friend, Treena's home, to give her my gift and to wish her a happy birthday.

I did  also spend a little time running around the house with a vacuum cleaner.  Some things can't be ignored, at least not for long.

Despite all these happenings today, I have managed to carry on with STRUGGLE.  My current word count as of now is 21,126 so I am almost halfway to meeting the 50,000 word challenge.   

I plan to spend some time head down writing after supper  and then, of course, I'll be back at it again tomorrow.   

Thanks for your continuing support and, as always, best wishes going out to my NaNo writing buddies.

NaNoWriMo - Day 5

 

I can't believe I slept in until 10:30 this morning but that's exactly what I did.  Fortunately, my little Lila is forgiving of a late breakfast and, thankfully, she made use of the training pad I leave on the kitchen floor for her each night just in case she needs to go out while I'm asleep.  Such a good girl, my little Lila.  I would be lost without her.  And she doesn't seem to object that I am spending hours at my laptop to participate in NaNoWriMo once again this year.

STRUGGLE is something I am feeling more at home with as each NaNo day goes by.   Its seven main characters are discovering that they share a common bond and, as their author, I find where the characters are leading me very interesting and intriguing.

I enjoyed a lovely Lila walk in the park this afternoon with Chuck, and I also managed to get a little laundry done.  I broke away from the computer to enjoy both lunch and supper so I haven't been totally glued to my laptop.

Still, despite my late start, I have managed to write  3,759 words today bringing my current total word count to 19,725 words. 

Thanks for your continued support.  And I wish the best to all my NaNoWriMo writing buddies.  Hope your day was as rewarding as mine has been.  As my friend, Mags, would say, keep that ink flowing.

NaNoWriMo - Day 4

 

Today I've spent more time researching, than writing.   But my end of day word count is 16,130, up 2,327 words over yesterday.  

My seven major characters are coming alive; asking me a lot of questions and sharing their hopes and dreams as we become better acquainted.

Day 4 is over.  It's time to feed Lila and think about setting the table.   I look forward to my dinner guest this evening; especially since he is bringing the main dish and I have only to make a salad.

Thanks for your support.  NaNo is a real challenge but I'm hanging in.   I remembered to spend some time in the backyard today enjoying the milder temps.  I enjoyed a walk in the park with Lila and I've spent a lot of time moving furniture here in my home.   The physical exertion was a welcome break from the mental and eye strain of NaNoWriMo.

STRUGGLE is sometimes a struggle but God loves a tryer.  I'm sure He often finds me very trying.

NaNoWriMo - Day 3

 

It's past 5 pm on day 3 of NaNoWriMo and my word count is 13,803.  I may write some more this evening and add a few words to that number in what will be my new novel titled "STRUGGLE".

I found  the writing more challenging today.  Feeling in need of inspiration, I took a break this afternoon and, no word of a lie, the 'Messengers of Light' not only provided the answer; they were the answer.

I was inspired to continue and the rest of my afternoon was sheer writing pleasure.

My little girl, Princess Delilah, was such a sweetheart.  She seemed to know I needed the time to write and made no demands whatsoever.

Best of luck to my writing buddies.  Hope you are enjoying the challenge.  

NaNoWriMo - Day 2

 

So far today, I've added 3,984 more words to "STRUGGLE" bringing my total word count so far to 9,875. I'm having a good time with the story, getting to know the characters, and can't wait to see where they will take me. I'm stopping to feed my Lila and to make some supper. I plan to add to the numbers this evening. Hope my writing buddies have enjoyed Day 2, NaNo, as I have.

"STRUGGLE" -- NaNoWriMo Challenge 2020

 

NaNoWrimo Day 1: I worked until just past two in the morning and off to a good start again this morning. I've met my characters, know where they live, and even have some idea of what it is they plan to do. My friends and family know that unless it's a dire emergency - no phone calls please. I'll check my messages throughout the day. Thank you

Now it's heads down and back to work.

Current NaNoWriMo word count is 5,981. What a great way to spend a cold, wintry day! "STRUGGLE" is already developing a mind of its own. I think I'm really going to enjoy this ride. Thanks for your support. And hope all my writing buddies also had a great ink-flowing day!