Today is the first day of Advent which means it is the first day of a new Liturgical calendar, and it is the beginning of the four week period of preparation in anticipation of Christmas, the birth of Jesus. This celebration is, for me, the reason for the season.
And the Advent Season is all about reflecting on how we can prepare our homes and our hearts for remembering and honouring this momentous birth in our world as it is today in 2020.
I began a day early decorating my living-room in anticipation of a lovely Christmas dinner that I will feel blessed and happy to enjoy with family members on Christmas Day. My decorations celebrate the fun of Christmas with the carolers, the big, beautiful Santa Claus wearing the white suit and cap, and the little mouse who can dance while he sings Jingle Bells.
My decorations also honour the sacred celebration of the child's birth.
The Nativity
Three Wise Men
I had fun decorating the room and was grateful when my friend, Chuck, assisted by hanging the Christmas wreath in the living room window. We thought it looked good even when we realized later that we hung the wreath up sideways.
I couldn't have decorated the room so quickly had it not been for Chuck's help carrying the heavy bin of decorations up from the basement. I appreciated his help and his reward was a pretty Christmas wreath to hang on the front door of his new home just across the street from mine.
Soon Chuck and I will celebrate the first anniversary of our very special friendship.
The same day that I was enjoying the happiness of Christmas decorating, Facebook sent me memory pictures taken three years ago of my first Christmas with my fur babies Sam and Lila.
My lovely Princess Delilah (Lila), Christmas 2017
My handsome Samson (Sam), Christmas 2017
I was tearful viewing the photo of my beautiful Sam because just a few months ago I lost this beloved little furbaby to stomach cancer. He won't be with me this Christmas and this breaks my heart but, thankfully, my pretty, little Lila will celebrate the season with me again this year.
My sadness remembering Sam was a powerful one and I was reminded of many recent losses. Within the past three years I lost not only Sam, but also Brian, my loving partner; and my elder brother Ken who, like Brian and Sam, passed away. In this same period of time I have lost my elder sister, Eleanor; not to death, but to the dreaded Alzheimer disease.
Covid-19 has been the cause of many other losses including the opportunity to continue my practice as Psychospiritual Practitioner; and as workshop facilitator. I've lost the opportunity, as most of us have, to gather in large groups with friends; to socialize, to enjoy music, plays, and to dance up a storm at the Ren Centre with my best friend, Chuck.
If I allowed myself to dwell on all these losses, Christmas this year would be a sad occasion indeed.
There isn't one among us who has not suffered loss of one kind or another. We can visit these losses. We can remember. We can honour those who are no longer with us. We can hold dear the memories of the events and activities no longer available to us.
Yes, we can visit these losses, just as I allowed myself to visit some of mine on the first day of Advent, but we cannot live there.
No, instead I remind myself to remember the joy of the wonderful years shared with my grumpy Sam who ruled the house. He was the King, and I have a million happy memories of sharing love and life with my beautiful, little furbaby. And as I remember him, I think of The Dudley; my handsome Ki; my little cat, Sunny; and my little budgie, Sara.
I remember the many wonderful, loving, and mostly happy years Brian and I spent together. We did almost everything together, and I honour his memory. I remember how much he loved Christmas and how creative he was in adding to the fun and joy of the festivities. I remember the love we shared.
I remember my elder brother, Ken, the amazing talented landscape artist; the son who was always there for his mother when she needed him; the brother who opened his home every year at Christmas time when all the kids were little and the many happy family Christmases we shared together.
I remember my elder sister, Eleanor, who shared my birthday, We were born on the same day twelve years apart. She always told me I was the best birthday present she ever received. I remember her many visits home from Bermuda. I remember the times we laughed and had such a good time at the CNE; at Ontario Place; downtown in the Eaton Centre; or just laughing and playing good board games at home. I remember her last visit with me here in Elliot Lake. We shared our birthday together and at the same time we celebrated my retirement from working life.
I remember my parents who loved their children; my father who died too young at the age of 49, and my mother who, thankfully, shared the journey with her children until she reached the age of 84.
I remember my dear sister, Muriel. Too soon, cancer took her away from me too. She was only 68 years old. But I remember the countless long phone conversations where sometimes we would just talk for hours. I remember when she moved to Elliot Lake and together we learned how to clog. We shared dinners; fun times; and talked about how we would do even more once I retired. Sadly, she passed away before my retirement day. But I will never forget the many, many nights we sat outside and, together, watched the night sky and shared spiritual experiences that were unique and special to us.
Remembering and honouring the sadness is important to me as I prepare to welcome, with gratitude, the joy of this Christmas season.
I am grateful that my brother, Ray, and my sister, Linda are alive and well; ready to celebrate the season with their children and grandchildren.
I am grateful for my little Lila who is my constant companion and adorable little girl.
I am grateful that this Christmas I will be spending the big day with my daughters, my son-in-law, my three grandsons and their partners; my best friend, Chuck; and my beautiful great-granddaughter, Cecilia Wren, the newest addition to my family.
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Meeting my great-granddaughter, Cecilia Wren, for the first time.
On Christmas Day there will be the big turkey dinner with all the trimmings. There will be the fun of playing the gift game and, for me, the joy in having everyone together to celebrate a very special day.
Often I've heard people say, "Don't get carried away with the joy of the season because we need to remember there are many who experience deep sadness due to great losses especially at this time of year." I understand people mean well when they say this.
But I don't agree with them in that regard. There is not one among us who has not suffered losses. I believe that those who have lost the most will benefit the most from having joyful, hopeful, and caring people around them.
In our society we tend to equate being alone at Christmas with being unhappy. But this is not necessarily the fact.
I always hope and pray that those who will be alone at Christmas will reach out to a friend who is also alone if this is what they choose to do. In my lifetime I have spent two Christmases totally alone. They were not bad times. The reason, for me, that they were not bad days is because I know that I am never alone even when there is no one else around. Faith is my friend.
For those of you who will be alone this Christmas, I am keeping you in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Christmas Eve is only twenty-five days away. As we journey through Advent we prepare to celebrate the birth of our Lord. We will do it with joy, with sadness, with excitement, and maybe with some disappointment. The important thing is that we prepare with feeling. All emotions are good. These feelings are evidence that we are alive. We are here to be who we are, and to be ready for whatever we may encounter on this journey.
Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts.
Life is good and life goes on.
