BOOKS BY AUDREY AUSTIN: The theme of this blog is creative writing. I've written many poems, short stories, novellas, novels, and more. I've recently entered the exciting world of books for children. I hope you will want to get to know me and, of course, I hope you will want to buy a book or two.
The challenge is to write 50,000 words, that may or may not make any sense, in 30 days.
With my brothers and sisters, we stood around her bed, feeling grateful that we were there with her at the end, as she had always been there for us throughout her life.
Just three days prior, I became a grandmother again. My twin grandsons were with their Mom, my daughter Christine, in the Whitby Hospital where they were born. My #1 grandson, David, was with me while my daughter was hospitalized.
This day, October 25th, I had just returned by car with my younger daughter, Susan; her husband; and David, from Whitby, where we had visited Christine and where I met my new baby grandsons for the very first time. I treasure a photo of my mother holding her great-grandson, Joseph, in her arms. This is the very last photo taken of my Mom while she was with me here on earth.
During our hospital visit that day, my Mom told me she was experiencing some chest pain. I knew that my mother had been diagnosed with angina for which she had been prescribed medication. I wanted my Mom to go with me to the emergency department but she was unwilling and determined not to seek medical help at that time. She told me she did not want it mentioned to anyone, despite the fact that we were in a hospital where perhaps a doctor could have been of help to her.
I clearly remember waving from the car and seeing my Mom waving back as she stood on the front verandah of her house once we returned home that day. I lived only a block away from my Mom in my apartment. Susan and her husband dropped David and me off at my home.
David was an adorable little eight-year-old. Once home, since it was so close to Hallowe'en, we ventured out to the corner store where we bought a pumpkin, planning to create a Jack-o-lantern. David chose the pumpkin and was excited about our creative plans.
The phone was ringing when we returned to my apartment. It was Mom. Her pain had increased.
I couldn't walk fast enough down the road to my Mom's home. Poor David - I hadn't meant to scare him but realized that's what I was doing. I slowed down a little as I reassured him that his Grandma Austin was not well, but that everything would be okay.
Upon arrival at Mom's home, I called her family doctor. Mom would not agree to going to hospital with me. I needed his help to encourage her to go. I spoke to Dr. Kingstone. "Put your mother on the phone," he advised me. I did so and, thankfully, Mom listened to him. She finally agreed to go to hospital.
I called my elder brother, Ken, who lived not too far away. He arrived and, in his car, we all drove to the Northwestern Hospital where Mom stayed until her passing October 28th, 1990. She endured a massive heart attack but was finally at peace.
This day, thirty years ago, was one of the most challenging of my life. To simultaneously feel the joy of my twin grandsons' arrival and the deep grief of the loss of my beautiful mother was most difficult. I felt hot and cold; here and there; up and down; inside and out. I was not myself.
I was forty-eight years old. Even in my grief, I felt gratitude that I had been blessed with such a loving, understanding mother who never judged; who was always there for me.
Although thirty years have gone by, I never fail to experience the challenging bittersweet feelings on the birthday of my twin grandsons and on the anniversary of my mother's transition. Birth and death; joy and sorrow; gain and loss. These opposing emotions, even today, leave me wondering.
Much time has passed since my Mom's farewell. My beautiful twin baby grandsons are handsome young men and I feel very proud of them and of their life choices.
Soon, one of these young men will become a father for the first time. How wonderful for me to, any day now, become a great-grandmother. How very true it is that, regardless of the challenges we face, life is good and life goes on.
Today is National Mental Health Day in Canada. Life is difficult during these covid days for everyone throughout our world and Canadians are no exception.
We are not used to spending so much time with ourselves. We have always reached out, gone out, searched out to find our pleasures, entertainment; to satisfy our physical, mental, and spiritual needs.
Going within is not an easy thing to do for many.
Being alone is not an easy way to be for many.
Because I've always been basically a home-body, I may or may not be finding this strange new world a little more comfortable than some.
I am not in possession of any statistics but I understand that many negative aspects of human living are on the rise. Domestic abuse, drug & alcohol addiction, depression, anxiety, many fear-based conditions are on the rise.
I don't have the answers. I can't kiss the world and make it all better. If I could, I would.
But what I can do is share with you those things that have helped a lot to make my isolation more comfortable and easier to deal with. I don't know if this will help you or not -- but it might and I'm pretty convinced my sharing won't do any harm.
I love to read. Even as a little girl, I never felt lonely, as long as I had the companionship of a story book. I encourage you to pick up a book and read.
I love to write creatively. Is this something you have tried? All you need is a paper and pen; or a laptop; and a little imagination. Don't know what to write about? That doesn't matter. My mother taught me that if you want something done, simply begin. So sit down, pick up the pen, and write. Don't worry about what you are writing. Just do it. You may even like your story once written. And while you are writing, just remember that it's the journey that is important; not the destination. Take your time. Enjoy.
I love to sing. Do you like music? Do you like to sing? No, it doesn't matter if you think you have a good voice or not. It doesn't matter even if you are tone deaf. Singing is good for you; good for the soul. If you own a tape recorder, record yourself singing your favourite songs. When you play them back you won't be able to resist a smile. Maybe even a laugh! Singing lifts the spirit.
I don't love housework but I do love my home. Since we are saving some money by not traveling, we can afford to put a little money into our homes. Maybe some new curtains, a new carpet, some fresh cheerful paint on a wall. Home projects do not have to be major but the resulting good feelings can be very major indeed.
Spend time outdoors. Take a walk, explore your neighbourhood, visit the local park, breathe in the beauty of the season.
By spending time outdoors, even if only an hour in the backyard, or a short walk by the lake, you will feel invigorated. And if it is cold outside, you will appreciate the warmth of your home once you return.
I love oil painting even though I'm still waiting for the arrival of my teacher.
What do you love to do? Whatever it is - just do it. I know we can be our own worst critics but try to ignore that nasty little fellow and just do those things you truly enjoy.
There are many ways to exercise. If you like music, let it play and dance around your house. No partner? That doesn't matter. Dancing alone can be very freeing; very relaxing; and with a little imagination, you can believe you are performing on stage to an appreciative audience. Just enjoy!
Stay in touch with people you love through social media. Of course it is not as good as meeting and sharing in person. But, make the effort! It is important to stay in touch with family and friends even if you cannot get together around a table for a meal or a cup of tea the way you used to do.
Do you live alone? That's okay, I do too. Except I don't because I have the wonderful companionship of my little chihuahua, Lila. She needs me and that's good for me. I need to wake up to give her breakfast. I need to take her out to pee, to play, to enjoy some fresh air. If you live alone, why not give a good home to a little dog or cat, if you are not already doing so?
We are often hard on ourselves. You say you can sometimes be your own worst enemy. But with just a little effort, motivation, and love, it is possible to be your own best friend.
This morning the sun is shining. It's going to be a good day. Happiness is a choice. It's up to you, but I care, and many people care, about you. Be good to yourself on National Mental Health Day and every day.
Love & hugs I send your way. :-)
Jim was her only love. Linda grew old as her husband before her had grown old. She died a peaceful death.
And then it happened...."
A review of Reawakening:
Every now and then a manuscript comes across my desk that completely captivates me. Austin has reached inside the human heart and removed all boundaries pertaining to everlasting love...and her ability to play with the English language successfully is astounding. Austin’s Reawakening is a must-listen. It will take you into a land not far from your heart and bring you back to earth again - believing that all things are possible with love and hope. (Maggie Kirton, executive director, Wynterblue Publishing)
Visit my Amazon Author's page at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin
Your positive reviews on Goodreads and Amazon are always appreciated.
Today is September 20th, 2020 and I am writing my fourteenth blog post concerning Covid-19. It has been a while since I've written on this topic. The truth is I've been doing my best to forget about Covid-19, although never to the point where I've stopped taking precautions.
Summer is just about over and as I enter what has always been my favourite time of year, Autumn, I am sad to say that Covid-19 is not only still here, but that here in Ontario, and across our country, the number of confirmed cases is on the rise.
Just over the past couple of days, the number of confirmed cases in Ontario has exceeded four hundred. And, sadly, I am led to understand that the majority of these cases are impacting the lives of younger people, many of them in their twenties and thirties.
I can't speak for these young people, but I do wonder if, since the disease may hopefully not be severe for them, they simply forget or don't give a thought to the fact that those they care about; and those who care about them; their older friends and relatives may not have such an easy time of it if they receive this unwelcome gift from them. They are having a good time at the party, not thinking about their parents, grandparents, or others who may soon, because of the young one's thoughtless celebration, become very ill.
Premier Ford, for this very reason, has recently cut back the number of people who may socialize together in private homes. I believe the prescribed number at this time is for outdoor gatherings, twenty-five people; and for indoor gatherings, ten.
As for me, since last March, I have stayed within my bubble of ten. I continue to be grateful to the City of Elliot Lake's Age Friendly Shopping Service. Thanks to this much appreciated service, I have not seen the inside of a store since March. I am grateful for my home, my backyard, and my front porch where throughout the summer I have spent most of my time.
With my best friend, Chuck, I have enjoyed adventurous rock hunts; country drives; and walks in the local parks with my fur baby, the lovely Lila. Since March, apart from family dinners, I've attended only one social outing. At my friend, Anna's home I was recently part of the appreciative audience listening to the musicians jam in her backyard. The audience social-distanced and it was a beautiful, sunny afternoon.
I'm blessed to have family living right here in Elliot Lake. I've enjoyed dinners with my daughter Christine and her husband, Robert, at my home and I totally enjoyed an afternoon at their home out on Dunlop Lake.
With my daughter, Susan, I've enjoyed lunches here at home followed by some laugh-filled Rummy games.
Throughout the summer, I've had fun at many backyard barbecues, sometimes just Chuck and I together, and sometimes with family and friends.
This evening I look forward to dinner with two of my grandsons, David and Joseph. And I'm grateful that at all of these family functions my best friend, Chuck, has been here with us to enjoy socializing within my family bubble.
I've been doing my best to stay positive during these Covid days. I've been singing my way throughout this pandemic and now, on Singsnap, I have recorded more than four hundred songs; mostly golden oldies and old hymns. I love to sing and I find that, beyond the fun of Singsnap, I am benefiting health-wise. Because, like my father before me, I have breathing difficulties due to a chronic lung condition. I am realizing that all this singing is proving to be good exercise for my compromised lungs and the singing is, in fact, helping my breathing to be somewhat easier. I like to say that, yes, I can carry a tune as long as I don't have to carry it too far.
Because I deal with chronic breathing issues, I find that wearing a mask is not my favourite thing to do. I respect the necessity of wearing a mask inside stores, offices, and businesses, and on the very few times I have needed to visit the bank, I wear my mask. Thanks to my lovely and talented friend, Deborah Lang, I have some very pretty masks that she created for me to wear when required.
I don't understand people who are unwilling to wear a mask within public places. I don't understand why some people are unable to consider the well-being of those around them. I also don't understand those who feel okay to gather in large groups without a mask and without social distancing. I don't believe this has been happening here in my small town; at least not that I am aware of, but I do hear about these events when I listen to the news. Listening to the news is something I don't do too often. It's not that I want to bury my head in the sand. It is just that I accept that I can't change the world. I can only be as positive as possible in the small world I've created for myself with close friends and family.
I am often reminded of the new serenity prayer. "God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; courage to change the one I can; and the wisdom to know it's me."
I am very grateful for Facebook because it is only through this media that I have been able to stay in touch with the beautiful people I call my friends.
Today is September 20th. Temperatures have been low and we've experienced tons of rain. And now we enter the fall of the year, usually my favourite season. Soon I will get busy in the yard cutting back the plants that have gifted me with beautiful blossoms all summer. Soon it will be time to put away all the outdoor furniture, to clear the deck making snow removal easier once winter decides to arrive.
Next month, sometime in October, my first great-grandchild will join the family. This little girl will be beginning her life in this strange new world. She is already much loved and welcome. I can't wait to meet her, and I am overjoyed for my grandson, Matthew, and his lovely lady, Christine. They will be wonderful parents equipped in every way to love and guide this child through her earliest years in this strange new world.
As an old grandmother, I can't help but wonder what life will be like for my lovely great-grand-daughter, and all the other beautiful babies arriving during these covid days.
Will they one day be able to run and play freely as I did as a child, and as my children did when they were little? Will they be able to sit in a classroom and socialize with their peers as they study and learn? Will they be able to share with friends and participate in family social gatherings?
I hear about the 'new normal'............ how will it be for these young ones to grow and learn in this 'new normal'?
A friend recently said to me, "For the kids it won't be so very difficult because they haven't known anything else." And, perhaps, this is true.
I look forward to my grandsons coming for dinner this evening. I'm well aware that it is possible we may find ourselves in another lock-down. I hope not, but I know, if the number of confirmed cases continues to rise, this is a possibility.
Time is flying for me. Before I know it, Christmas will be here. It's only three months away. I plan to have family Christmas here in my home this year with my family and my best friend. I hope Covid-19 does not get in the way of this plan. I hope we will not be in lock-down.
Please stay healthy and safe. Life is not what we thought it would be; but life is good and life goes on.
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| Brian on his way to the 'Ki House' |
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| Sam enjoying his journey through the backyard garden made beautiful by Brian's green thumb. |
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| Brian and Ki were inseparable |
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| Brian with Lila |
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| Brian protesting the animal gas chamber here in town. |
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| Brian, always remembered with love & gratitude |
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| Brian and me |
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| Eva Ruby Austin (McNeil) |
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| Left to right back row: Ken, Eleanor, Muriel, Dad. Front row: Mom, me, Linda, and Ray. This was the last family photo taken before the passing of my Dad. |
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| Left to right: Dad, Mom, Linda, Audrey, Muriel, Ray, & Eleanor. Brother Ken was behind the camera. The days of antimacassars -- the pretty one on the sofa was one of many created by Mom. |
Always remembered with love and understanding.
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom. I love you always.
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| Such a clever, good boy, my Sam! |
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| "SAM" |
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| "Samson" January, 2010 - July, 2020 |
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| Sam resting on the cool grass just days before he had to leave. |
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| Brian's Angel watches over. |
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| Run free from pain, my handsome Sam. |
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| Book Cover on Paperback Edition |
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| Book Cover on Kindle Edition |
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| Cover on Paperback edition |
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| Cover on Kindle edition |
