It snowed yesterday and that was a bit disheartening but today the glorious sun is up there doing his job from the beautiful clear, blue sky; shining warmth along with the hope that, just as the snow will soon melt and disappear once more, so will this covid-19 virus be just another memory.
I'm told that today there are 11,735 confirmed cases of Covid-19 in Ontario; 37,422 in Canada; and globally 2,582,529. As I understand it, today, the number of confirmed cases in my small town of Elliot Lake remains at three.
Those of you who know me well, know that I'm an emotional woman. I feel things deeply. Today I am feeling sorrow for the people of Nova Scotia, for those families who have lost their relatives, their friends, and neighbours, because one man made a decision to go on a senseless shooting spree. To my knowledge, twenty-two souls have transitioned because of this horrific act of terror.
My thoughts and prayers are with the people of Nova Scotia, the birthplace of my dear father who was born in Springhill, who worked there in the mines, before moving to Ontario long ago in the depression years. His father, my grandfather, was the jailer in the Amherst Jail. When I was five years old, I was honoured to spend time in a jail cell. I'm grateful that this was not only my first, but also my only prison experience.
Today I grieve with the people of Nova Scotia. The fragility of life is something I appreciate more each day as I grow older.
I don't know the details but I also understand that right here in Elliot Lake someone made the decision to shoot and kill another. And I am hearing of house break-ins and thefts.
While the vast majority of good people in my town do all they can to make this difficult time of Covid-19 more bearable, more interesting, more acceptable, there are the few who do all they can to make life more challenging.
I remember many years ago when I was studying at the University of Toronto's Wordsworth College, I was given an assignment by one of my professors to write an essay. One of the topics was to be People are basically good. The second choice of topic was People are basically evil.
I couldn't make up my mind which topic I wanted to write about but eventually I made my choice and I wrote on the first topic, People are basically good. I was asked to support my thoughts and opinions with examples. I had no problem doing so. But when I was finished with writing my essay, I didn't feel satisfied. Yes, I believed people are basically good, but something was niggling away at me.
There was no way I could not sit down and write a second essay. You guessed it. This time I wrote on the topic People are basically evil. Again I had no problem supporting my opinion with strong examples.
It was time to submit my assignment. Which one would I submit? I could not decide and for this reason I submitted both essays. I wondered what the professor would think but I knew I could not do otherwise. When my essays were returned to me, I was pleased to see that I had been given a good grade on both.
Obviously I know and accept that there are good and there are evil people in our world. I am well aware that not one of us is perfect. Yet, while amidst the heroic, caring, loving, and giving acts of kindness taking place around me, I am still shocked to hear about the evil that mankind can do; that one human being can do to another. And I wonder when will we ever learn? Will we ever learn?
It would seem that everything in my life at this time of self-isolation is, even to me, subjective. Much of my activity is that of thought, of wondering, of simply being.
What am I actually doing? Not a lot, I admit.
This morning the laundry is in the dryer. I've made my bed, had my breakfast, taken care of the needs of Sam and Lila, my Chihuahua companions in isolation. I could do some housework but the fact is that the house is very neat and tidy. There has been nothing much happening in my home to make it otherwise. I'm not a clean-freak for sure, but I am a neatness freak; a curse or a quality I've come by naturally as an inheritance from my dear mother. I, personally, consider it a quality but I think my kids, during their growing-up years, probably considered it a curse.
Sam and Lila don't seem to care one way or the other and since, apart from them, I live alone I don't suppose it makes any difference to anyone whether my home is neat or not. So I am discovering during these days of isolation much about myself. I am recognizing that the space, the comfort, the cleanliness, and the beauty of my home mean everything to me. This little old house with its front porch and little backyard is my entire world apart from what I view through my windows. I am staying home. While so much is happening in our world; both positive and negative, I am simply staying home. I am an observer. Am I a participant in life? Well, I guess that is debatable.
As Shakespeare suggested we are all actors on a stage. The childhood song, Row, Row, Row your boat, suggests that life is just a dream. Roger Taylor wrote the lyrics for the song, It's An Illusion. Perhaps it is. But in these days of Covid-19 life seems very real to me.
I've been so very appreciative of my talented friends who perform their songs and their music on Facebook. My dear friend, Sandra, yesterday shared her song and, because I'm always open to learning, I wanted to explore the site, Singsnap, on which she recorded her singing.
Well, thanks to her, I've discovered a whole new world, a whole new way to enjoy life and to interact with others around our world who are singing their way through this Covid-19 crisis.
I grew up in a musical family and I have always been a music appreciator. I don't think of myself as a singer but I do remember another friend saying to me several years ago at a UCW gathering, "Everyone can sing."
So when I began to explore the Singsnap site, I thought, okay, if everyone can sing, maybe that includes me. And what if I can? And what if I can't? Is that really what matters? To me with this new fun challenge, what matters is the joy, the feeling of participation in something when, in actual reality, I am, just like the movie, home alone.
I actually recorded a couple of songs and the singing feels good. Just as painting, creative writing, even doing housework and caring for a home, are ways to express who I am, then this new adventure can be just one more way of experiencing personal growth at a time when it would be very easy for an individual to become stagnant.
The gift of time this Covid crisis has given me, is a gift I don't want to waste. I very much miss the human interaction with my family and friends. At the same time I'm grateful for the technology that allows me to be in touch, to communicate, to care even when we are, of necessity, apart from one another.
I think of a line from the prayer Rev. Richard Bott shared. "Help us to be socially connected when we have to be socially distant."
The Right Reverend Richard Bott is the moderator of the United Church of Canada. I was thankful to receive a copy of his prayer and I've taped it to the door of my refrigerator. Each morning I read the prayer aloud. I find it uplifting and hopeful.
I find it quite amazing with these blog posts that, although I never have any idea what I will ramble on about, there is never any lack of things to type. Each day is a new experience. Although I am alone with my furbabies, I never feel alone. I feel the warmth and the love of my family and friends. I enjoy my piano, my oil paints, my TV; especially 90 Day Fiance; my favourite show and I'm totally hooked on it.
I enjoy my home, the sunshine, the spa music that I listen to for most of each day. I appreciate all the private messages, the emails, and the phone calls that come my way even though my phone is a an old flip phone, with horrible sound quality and terrible battery life. I admit I'm grateful most of my friends and family are online and don't need to call me on my relic of a phone.
Maybe you are also in self-isolation. I hope that by talking about some of the activities I find fun to do, you will feel encouraged to explore new avenues, new experiences, and new thoughts. In this strange world in which I find myself -- perhaps you will find your self too. This time in my life is an opportunity to work toward my goal, which is to be authentic; to simply be.
Thanks for listening to my rambling. Boy, can this woman ramble! lol
I love you all.
Audrey.
Our Getting High On Life Workshop for Women
is scheduled to happen in the meeting room
of our local library
Monday, September 21st.
I hope to see you there.
At this time of self-isolation, counseling sessions are, of necessity, not taking place.
However, if you ever want to talk,
don't hesitate to get in touch by email or by PM on Facebook.
Counseling sessions will resume when Covid-19 is finally just a memory.
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