Remembering Brian with love and gratitude

On this day, three years ago, Brian left his suffering behind and I knew he was, at last, free from pain, and in a better place.  Always he is remembered with love and gratitude.

I will never forget my first date with Brian; a wonderful memory.  He had invited me out for dinner, and when he arrived at my door to pick me up I was totally impressed because in one hand he carried flowers and a bottle of red wine.  He was letting me know he was a romantic.  In his other hand he carried a red tool case prepared to get to work on something or other that, at the time, was broken in the house.  He had it all, and I knew he was the one for me.

He wore a big smile on his face and I loved his soft, British accent.  Before our very first dinner date was over, I knew we would be sharing a good future together.

Brian on his way to the 'Ki House'

  
Brian was an amazing gardener.  He had a green thumb and I learned so much from him.  He would not tolerate a weed and, by hand, he would spend hours getting those weeds out of the grass or gardens.  Together we turned our backyard into a place of rest and beauty.  Others on the garden tour also enjoyed the results of his efforts.  

Sam enjoying his journey through the backyard garden
made beautiful by Brian's green thumb.

A wonderful dog lover, together we cared for Dudley, for Ki, and for Sam & Lila.   He loved to walk the dogs and we used to walk all over town with Dudley and Ki; not so much with Sam and Lila.  We soon learned that they were a special challenge; especially our handsome Sam.

Brian and Ki were inseparable

Brian with Lila

Brian left me with many wonderful memories and one that stands out in my mind is the day we joined others as we protested against the gas chamber; the killing of lost or abandoned pets.   

Brian protesting the animal gas chamber here in town.

A quiet man, Brian had a brilliant, subtle sense of humour.   We shared many wonderful times over the years.  We were in agreement on major issues emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, practically, and even politically.   There was little we disagreed on.  Brian was always there for me.  No one could have been a greater support to me in my writing endeavours.  He assisted me with the editing of all my books.  He encouraged me to write, and  happily looked after the current fur baby plus the house & garden while I wrote.  He was with me at every book launch; always there with his camera to record the special events.

He was a wonderful, talented wood worker and he sold much of his craft through the art gallery in Sault Ste Marie.  He was also a very talented artist and today I treasure his paintings that hang on my wall.    

Brian loved my family and he was a loving, supportive father to his only son, Richard.

We shared our love, and I will always remember him with love.   He was definitely one of the good guys and I was blessed to share our years together.

Brian, always remembered with love & gratitude

I am grateful for all the wonderful years we shared together.  We both loved live theatre and we attended many shows.  We both loved movies and Brian was a good dancer.  Together we attended Sunday morning church services.  We did everything together yet we both encouraged and supported our alone time while I wrote my novels and he enjoyed his wood turning workshop. Brian enriched my life in every way. I am blessed with happy memories. 

Brian and me

Three years have passed but my memories of our life together will always be alive in my heart.  I am blessed to be living life to its fullest today, and, despite Covid-19, I look to the future with hope.  Life goes on and life is good.

Mom - always remembered with much love

Eva Ruby Austin (McNeil)

If my mother was alive today she would be 114 years old.  Today, August 9th, would be her birthday.  Named after the first woman, her name was Eva.  But she preferred to be called by her second pretty name which was Ruby.  Of course, I have never called her anything but Mom.

Eve is a figure in the Book of Genesis in the Hebrew Bible as well as a figure in the Quaran.  According to the origin story of the Abrahamic religions, she was the 'first woman'.  Eve is also known as Adam's wife.

Eva is a female given name, Latin for the English Eve, derived from a Hebrew name meaning 'life' or 'living one'.   It can also mean 'full of life' or 'mother of life'.

Mom was the mother of six lives.  I was the monkey in the middle with three older siblings, and two younger.

Mom was born in 1906.  That year, a massive earthquake shook San Francisco. Though the quake lasted less than a minute, its immediate impact was disastrous.  The earthquake and fires killed an estimated 3,000 people and left half of the city's 400,000 residents homeless.

Meanwhile in the quiet village of Tryon, Prince Edward Island, a little girl was born to loving parents, Elvina and Thomas McNeil.   She was a bright child with soft brown hair and inquisitive blue eyes; a little girl who liked to write stories and poems.

She completed high school and then received her diploma from a business college where she learned specific skills that led her into a career as legal secretary.  In those long ago days, it was uncommon for married women to work outside the home.  When Eva Ruby married my Dad, Guy Lester Austin, she no longer went out to work.   Instead her duties consisted only of those essential jobs women performed in the home; jobs such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and child care.     In my mother's day it would have been rare that a man assisted with this work.

Mom was thirty-six years old the morning she gave birth to me; an at-home birth that took place in my mother's bedroom. I was her fourth child. Two years later my little brother was born and the year after that another sister arrived.  

Six kids and a house to look after, Mom was always busy.   When she did have a little free time she would write poetry.  A woman of faith she attended church service every Sunday.

Fashion for women in those days meant having house dresses; afternoon dresses; and Sunday go-to-meeting dresses.  Always well-dressed, I can still see my mother on her way to church carrying her Bible and her purse in white-gloved hands with a pretty veiled hat upon her head.

Difficult depression years tore my mother away from her family; her parents and siblings, on pretty Prince Edward Island.  Of financial necessity, she travelled with her then two children to be with her husband who had earlier left their island home to secure employment in Toronto, Ontario.  The final four, including yours truly, were born in Toronto.

At the age of 49 her husband died.  Alone to raise three children, since the oldest three had by then married and bought homes of their own, Mom was often lonely.  Her faith kept her strong: emotionally and spiritually strong, if not physically.  Angina and heart issues were her new challenge.  This was not surprising as she was a woman dealing with many powerful matters of the heart.

Mom's life focused on her home and her children.  She was a wonderful, loving mother who always put her children's needs well before her own.

Left to right back row: Ken, Eleanor, Muriel, Dad.  Front row: Mom, me, Linda, and Ray.
This was the last family photo taken before the passing of my Dad.

When all the children married and left home, she was sometimes lonely but always her faith kept her going.  Church services; church and family events provided her social life.  She had a wonderful sense of humour and today, even as I type, I can see her laughing so hard that the tears roll down her soft cheeks.

I treasure the book of poems, all written by her during her alone years.  She was always very adept with embroidery.   A very talented woman, she loved to sing and to play the organ; mostly old hymns or the down east music to which I grew up listening.

Mom died due to a heart attack at the age of eighty-four.   She was mine for forty-nine years so I was, indeed, blessed.   But the truth of the matter is that Mom has always been with me, and is with me today.   I feel her around me.  I remember times shared with her; the words she spoke; the way she made me feel; loved and important.

I was blessed to be the child of such a beautiful woman.  I know that everyone isn't as fortunate.  Mom was an ordinary woman who lived an ordinary life with extraordinary patience, love, and determination to ensure all was okay for her kids.

Left to right:  Dad, Mom, Linda, Audrey, Muriel, Ray, & Eleanor.  Brother Ken was behind the camera.
The days of antimacassars -- the pretty one on the sofa was one of many created by Mom. 

Always remembered with love and understanding.  

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mom.  I love you always.  

SAMSON January, 2010 - July, 2020

Such a clever, good boy, my Sam!

"SAM"

"Samson"
January, 2010 - July, 2020

I said good-bye to my Sam today.  I can't describe the feelings I experienced as I carried the box into the house.  I placed it on the kitchen counter and for the second time since leaving Dr. Wannan's office I said aloud, "Sam in a box!"

Such an upsetting thought, my Sam in a box!  

He experienced too much confinement in his short life.  Feeling free and knowing he was loved played such a big part in this  little guy's transformation.

It wasn't easy opening the sealed plastic box but I persevered and, once it was open, I placed a few of Sam's ashes into some saran wrap.  I tied the small parcel with a pink ribbon.  I knew that Sam should have had a blue ribbon.  He was a courageous, brave little fellow.  Yes, it should have been blue, but all I could find was pink.

I placed Sam's tiny packet of ashes into the porcelain angel dish alongside the ashes of my beloved "Ki" then returned the angel to its place atop the kitchen cupboard.   I hope to take both with me when it's my turn.   My Dudley was not cremated. He was buried, so of him I will take only loving memory.   My little cat Sunny is also buried along with my little budgie, Sara.

Lila is with me as we head into the backyard where I sprinkle Sam's ashes .   He loved his backyard and today he was alive in my heart.  I could see him running, playing, or just resting in the tall, cool grass.

Sam resting on the cool grass just days before he had to leave.

I then proceeded to bury my Sam beside Brian's angel.   His ashes lay beneath the rock with Dudley's welcome puppy nearby.  I had a quiet chat with my Sam.  I felt his presence and I hope he could feel mine as I prayed.   I believe our pets go to Heaven.  If they don't, it's not a place I want to go either.   I believe our pets go to Heaven.

It's never easy to say good-bye to a loved one.  I love you, Sam, and you will never be forgotten.

Brian's Angel watches over.

Run free from pain, my handsome Sam.