KEEPING IT SIMPLE - Imagine Being Whole - an excerpt
PAGE 119 - 122
Unlike the behaviour of the powermonger, the actions of one who needs to caretake others (with agenda) do not display one who is an obvious abuser. It is possible, in fact, that appearance-wise; this individual can often be wrongly described as one who is giving, and caring about the needs of others. You may even know someone just like this who has to have her finger in every pie. She is one who anticipates the needs of others and meets them before they have the opportunity to recognize they have a need.
He may be the one who serves on every committee; always giving, giving, giving of his time and energy. This person literally gives until it hurts.
And, in fact, it does hurt both the giver and the receiver.
Why?
Well, this individual who is so very generous of his time and energy is subconsciously giving in order to feel needed. And by feeling needed, almost indispensable, he tries to hold others to him. He wants to control their lives in such a way that they will need him so much that they will never leave or abandon him.
The caretaker with agenda wants to take care of everyone.
What she may or may not realize is that by attempting to take care of everyone and everything she is depriving others of their own powers of decision-making and action. She wants to feel appreciated and is often surprised when she isn't. And when she does not feel appreciated, sometimes not even a thank-you for all her efforts then resentment and anger builds within her.
Let's face it; the only people who need to be taken care of are children; sick people and sometimes the elderly.
It is desirable to care about others and often it is difficult to discern the fine line between caring and taking care. Someone who feels the need to take care of others is a controlling individual who lacks self-control and self-love.
He is the one who feels not good enough to just be who he is. She feels she has to take care of others because if she does not, she fears others will not want to be with her
Caretaking is a fearful, controlling expression of insecurity and low self-esteem.
Perhaps you have met someone with caretaking issues. Perhaps you have heard him say, "After all I've done for you, why don't you love me? Why don't you want me in your life?"
Unaware of the subtle abuse they are heaping onto the unwilling recipient of all this caretaking, she cannot understand why she is not appreciated, "after all I have done and sacrificed for you."
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KEEPING IT SIMPLE - Imagine Being Whole is available on all Amazon sites in both kindle and paperback formats.
You can find it on my author's page at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin
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