An excerpt from Moose Road, a Canadian Tragedy
Chapter 10: Pg 78 - 80
"ALICE MacDONALD"
My name is Alice. I am the wife of Robert MacDonald. My marriage to Rob automatically changed my surname. I used to be a Murphy. Now that I am Mrs. MacDonald I sometimes wonder what happened to Alice Murphy. I think she still exists somewhere deep down inside of me but for the most part she remains hidden. She has her reasons for hiding but most of the time she is not into sharing what her justification might be. Alice Murphy has been hiding for a very long time.
Physically I have changed a lot over the years. Long ago when I was young I used to be considered by most to be a pretty girl. I had a healthy body and a healthy, curious mind. More than thirty years ago I pledged my marriage vows and I became a MacDonald. Yes, I have changed physically but I have also changed in many other ways that are perhaps less obvious to an observer. Maybe it is marriage that has changed me; maybe it is life itself.
Today I have many names. I am known as Alice MacDonald or Mrs. MacDonald or Rob's wife or Marty's mother or Eunice's daughter-in-law. I answer to all these names and more. I am all the roles I play.
I don't imagine I will ever be just Alice again. Sometimes I wonder if I ever was. The older I get the less often I take the time to remember her even though I do know that it is good to remember; good for the soul.
I remember our first meeting. I was a young girl, only twenty-one, when I first met Rob. I was waitressing at the cafe in Mansey and Rob was a regular customer coming in as he did from the farm every Friday evening. Each week he would come to the restaurant where he would meet up with some of his beer-bellied buddies.
I knew Rob was a dairy farmer and far from rich but at the same time I came to know him as a man who knew how to be generous. He was one of the best tippers in the restaurant; sometimes the only one. And Rob, unlike most of his male friends, did not boast a beer belly.
Locals are cheap buggers in my opinion but Robert, well, Rob was different. I don't believe he was just putting on an act to make himself look good to me. I don't think he was generous and kind just because he wanted to date me. But even if that was the case and he was trying to impress me, I am happy to say that he was successful in his effort. He made a very good impression on me.
And I am willing to admit that he did try very hard to please me. Gifts of flowers and candy often came my way. Rob was very successful in his attempt to win me over. He impressed me enough so that when he got down on one knee, presented me with the lovely diamond cluster engagement ring and asked for my hand in marriage, I wasted no time in saying yes.
I can't say that I was ever madly in love with Robert but I respected him. I did and I do still care about him.
I wasn't too thrilled about moving into his mother's house. Just like any young bride, I would have preferred a house of my own but there was no way around this predicament. Neither Rob nor I had the money for a down payment in order to buy a place of our own.
When Robert proposed marriage to me, his plan was to continue working on the family farm. For this reason we needed to live nearby. It is sad but true that there were no affordable house rentals in the area. No, we had no choice but to move into the house of Robert's mother.
Yes, I knew the situation when I accepted Rob's proposal. I can't say that the knowledge didn't disappoint me but I could not let this disappointment stand in the way of my marriage.
I desperately wanted to get away from my own family, particularly my father. My father was a man who held a bottle of good Canadian Rye whiskey a lot longer and a lot more often than he ever held a steady job.
Yes, I would have preferred a home of my own. What woman wouldn't? But I have to admit that the house of Rob's mother, Eunice, was a beautiful old place.
I was born and raised in the Town of Mansey. I lived with my parents and two brothers in a tiny two bedroom grey shingle-sided bungalow. My parents slept in one bedroom; my two brothers shared the other bedroom. Being the only girl, I had no room of my own. I slept on the pull-out couch in the living-room. Other than the blanket over my body, I never had any privacy whatsoever.
I hated it when my daddy was into his beer and whiskey. He would leave the kitchen and come into the living-room where I was trying to sleep. Natter, natter, natter; he would ramble on and on about what a hard life he was forced to lead. He would moan and groan about how nobody understood his problems. My father often kept me awake into the late hours of the night while my mother and brothers enjoyed a peaceful sleep in their rooms.
Daddy never did anything to hurt me. No, he never got out of line if you know what I mean. Daddy wasn't what anyone would call a bad man but, to be frank, he was a drunk. Too many nights he kept me sleepless while he whiskey-talked a blue streak into the late night hours.
I carried anger always. I should have been given the other bedroom. And why wasn't I given a bedroom? My brothers could have slept on the pull-out couch. A girl needs her privacy. Why didn't my mother know that? Why didn't it occur to my father?
Oh, daddy probably knew that the boys wouldn't let him rant and rave the way he did with me. He knew my brothers would just tell him to shut up and go sleep it off. Daddy probably knew that I was the only one in the family stupid enough to put up with his unrelenting verbal diarrhea.
It was unfair! Totally unfair! But that was my life before my marriage to Robert.
Moose Road - a Canadian Tragedy is found exclusively on all Amazon sites in Kindle, Paperback and Audiobook formats.
You will find Moose Road, a Canadian Tragedy, along with all my other books on my Amazon Author's Page at https://amazon.com/author/audreyaustin
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