I have been blessed with an interesting life. My life choices are evidence of the truth in the old saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss".
From the earliest hours of my life, material possessions have come and gone; come and gone; and come and gone often enough to teach me that, although some material possessions are necessary, they, alone, do not provide the assurance of happiness.
I have learned that happiness is elusive. It is not a permanent fixture in life but one that is appreciated when it visits.
I can't recall when I stopped striving for happiness. Perhaps this decision was made after I finally realized that it cannot be found in material goods. After I became aware that happiness cannot be found in anything, or in anyone, outside of myself.
I am not sure when I realized that another cannot make me happy. I am not sure when I realized that I was not responsible for another person's happiness. But this knowledge was gained long ago and I gratefully accepted the learning.
At some point along life's road, I discovered that expectation was often the killer of the happiness I was seeking. I learned that the less I expected of others, and the more I expected of myself, the more contented I simply felt.
Reducing, with the goal of eliminating, expectation, I learned that my journey was becoming more peaceful. I learned that reducing expectation also reduced disappointment.
Once I became aware of this knowledge, I found that the trick, for me, was to accept the truth of this awareness. It was not easy, for me, to reduce expectation of others. In fact, this is something I still work on, but the longer I live, the easier this challenge becomes.
With clients, I often share the equation taught to me years ago in college. "Awareness plus acceptance plus action equals change." This is an equation I, personally, have taken very seriously.
The awareness of my reliance on expectation of others to validate myself, once accepted, offered me a gift of freedom. I was free to let expectation leave me. It was no longer welcome as a need within me.
Without expectation, I have the opportunity to learn to simply let go.
This action of letting go allows me to cease expecting the actions of others to have deep impact on my inner peace.
This, for me, is not a one-time, cut and dried decision which has permanently eliminated expectation from my being. Instead, it is a process; a process of letting go, of knowing I am okay, of knowing that my authentic self is strong; physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Expectation is a stubborn aspect of human existence.
It can be a challenge to let expectation go, but, with time and with love, it is a challenge that can be met.
Releasing expectation results in the gift of less disappointment along with the gifts of greater gratitude and appreciation.
I continue to live an interesting life of learning. Life is good and life goes on.
